well...

tired. mentally and emotionally drained. i'm still not over ry. sigh. i can't believe that he went to get a thai gf. sigh. i'm sad.

yesterday was in school to meet frank for lunch, he's going back to germany on the 2nd, so met up with him one last time before he left. walked past cj koh lib and saw all the interviewees for the law interview and was wondering whether ry made it. was thinking whether i shld sms freddie or renyi to find out... but then if i sms fred, he comfirm tell ry, so that's it, might as well ask ry myself. so i sms-ed him. he replied later saying he didn't and i was, oh, so he's going to notts then. told him that it made his choice easier i guess. no need to feel bad abt taking his parent's money then.

he replied rather late, and i attributed it to him sleeping in camp cos he's forever sleeping in camp. so fine. leave it at that.

came home and slept before going for tuition and was late for tuition. didn't realise that the car was at home so i cld take it to tuition. yay! haha... then while waiting to make a u-turn, i saw the familiar merc, 223 drive past. shit. that was ry... i made the u-turn and caught up to him... damn. reminded me of the time when i saw kc's car and chased it... but oh well... ry was driving and the moron cut into my lane so i horned really loud... but he didn't see me. sigh. saw his sister and gf sitting in front. sigh. i'm sad.

sms-ed him and screamed at him for cutting into my lane and he replied, "oh that was u? where u going, tuition ah?" i guess i was pretty happy that he actually still remembered my "tuition scheldue"... sigh... but then he said that that was his gf too... sigh... that means that he's actually clearing leave to spend with her... sigh. damn it. i was supposed to be that one. i was supposed to spend time with him. he was supposed to wait till my exams ended to celebrate together... and wat happened? sigh...

i dunno. i dunno where we went wrong. i don't know.

sometimes i wonder whether it's cos i've been meeting the wrong guys. or sometimes i wonder whether there's something wrong with me. something that's written on my forehead that my bfs always stray and find other girls. maybe i can't give them wat they want. maybe i can't satisfy their needs or wants. still.

ry... sigh... hh was so insensitive abt it. he was like "aren't u used to it?". urgh. bitch.

spent last night with hh. went to watch zatochi and then went geylang to eat tao hui. yum... and then we went to east coast to just chill. was pretty nice just sitting by the beach and talking... last night really made me think that hh and i are comfirm not compatible. he doesn't have most of the criteria that i'm looking for, and the most impt factor is that he's a very devotated christian. and that's rare. but still. there's some stuff that he doesn't meet up to. i don't feel the same way with hh when i'm with him, compared to ry or kc. he doesn't treat me as well as they do, and ... it's just different with him. everything's different with him.

it's friday night and addy's in phuture. shld i go? but i'm so lazy. i just bathed, smelly nice and all... and i just ran... so abit tired. yawn. think i might just stay at home actually. wah. i'm either growing out of my clubbing phase or maybe i'm just growing old. hahah....

went to cut hair today. damn it joey changed working place already. crap. nmind, got a new stylist. edwin... er, think he's gay... but oh well.. very gentle, i can't really tell how gd the cut is, cos i mean, long hair how bad can it be, but alright lar. maybe i will go back to him. sigh... i wished alvin wld come back from whever he disappeared to. he was my favourite stylist. sigh... even though he was super gay and have the same mango pants as me... sigh...

went to run just now. and got chased by a dog. DAMN IT. i screamed like a little girl man. super SCREAMED. so paiseh! luckily the dog stopped chasing. but still. i hate dogs. sigh. hate anything with 4 legs, fur, and that chase me. urgh.

i'm still wondering whether i shld go phuture. damn it.

tania @ 8:38 PM | |