i am still struggling with my accounts.

this is not good. our project is still hanging by its threads and this is not a good sign.

ok... for my break... i have decided that i don't look like the girl on the left. okok, i admit it, it's not me... surprise surprise... and neither wld i wanna be her for a few reasons:

1. she is improportionate. her figure is more pear than hourglass
2. her hips are too big
3, shoulders too small
4. boobs are well... east-west. u get the drift

u know u've gone mad when u start finding fault with a picture.

tania @ 10:54 PM | |

got a new blog outlook.

how's this for funky for a 20-year old. yes, in case u guys are wondering, that is actually a picture of me on the left. yes yes, it is... i know it doesn't look like me cos of the ultra tiny waist, nice boobs, hoursglass figure, cat eyes, blue eyes, long hair, pouty lips... but hey, wat can i say... i do a good job editing on photoshop.

went down to the skin centre today for my face. oh well. money well spent if it all clears. hopefully i'll get my nice baby's bottom skin back again...

drove to the skin centre and it was damn embarrassing entering the carpark. i was re-enacting the peugeot "moron" advertisement. let's just say it wasn't gd.

went shopping in town, and i didn't buy anything. i swear it's a conspiracy for me not to spend more money. crap.

checked out the stuff at forever21. nice selection of stuff, but let's just say that it won't take over mango or zara. i'm not a convert... yet. the clothes just don't fit well lar... but hey, nothing fits well on this marshmellow.

saw 2 jackets that i might consider getting... one's from g2000 and the other one's from iroa... yea, weird brand i know, but i think the cut is pretty nice. dunno... got to wait and see lar... maybe i'll drop by dorothy perkins and take a look. i actually think that their suits are VERY nice, despite having the ah ma image... oh well...

ok then, i'm going to take a bath and then continue on with my accounts. i hate accounts man. CRAP.

study study study... oh so funny, in a student's world

fine, the irony is lost on u.

tania @ 3:48 PM | |

shld i be a keynEsian or monEtArist?

tania @ 11:32 PM | |

i am sick and tired.

i hate doctors. i hate going to the clinic, taking a number, sitting in an air-conditioned waiting room full of sick pple just waiting.

this is like sars.

u never know what the person next to u is sick with. sure, it cld just be diarrhoea... not air borne... but wat if it's chicken pox, or yea... sars?

that's why i hate to see the doc.

and another thing is the long waiting hours. have u ever wondered whether anyone has died while waiting to see the doc?

patient: i need to see the doc... i'm really sick
nurse: pls sir, wait for ur number
patient: it's an emergency
nurse: pls wait to be called
patient faints and die

ok, fine, maybe that's just an exageration. but come on, if pple can just collaspe after a run or have a heart attack while having sex... then there shld be pple dying in the waiting room of the doc. someone whld go check the statistics on this.

anyway, i went to get a flu jab. i know i've been lamenting on the doctors at YIH for a long time but in the end i still go... well, cos i'm a cheapo, and i go in between class and it's relatively more convient that going to dr teo.

urgh. i can write a bk... i'll name it lamentations.

oh well... i'm so not on track for my studies... but at least i'm doing something rather than giving tuition and just slacking around.

ok, tom i'm finally going to town. going to the skin doctor for my screwed up face and hopefully he can do something abt it. then i'm going to get my suit from g2000. or maybe country road... seehow first... and then zara and mango... and forever21!!! i really need to go see what's the rave and hype abt!!!!

ok then. i'm going to continue with my stupid accounts now. i really honestly hate it so much that i wanna die. URGH

laments again

tania @ 5:51 PM | |

i think i'm suffering from insomia.

i lie on my bed everynight around 2+ and i only fall asleep after like 4am. this is not gd... last night i only managed to sleep at 6am! damn it.

... do u ever get the feeling that life is just one big joke, and u're the centre of it?

well... for the past week, including yesterday and today, i've been caught in the rain every single day... it'll be bring and sunny when i leave the house, and the minute one foot is out of the door, blam... it rains.

and when i run all the way to the bus stop or shelter, it stops raining. and this happens over and over again... i feel as if there's this pepetual rain cloud over my head.

and it's not funny.

oh well.

anyway, i had so little sleep last night, i'm going to knock out now. going for a nice afternoon nap. the weather's been really nice lately, nice and cooling...

yawn.

*hurry under the covers*

tania @ 4:33 PM | |

wat have i done over the weekend? hum... nothing much. so much for the i will study part...

haha... but i did finish 2 chapts of accounting last night and today... will finish the rest later tonight...

it's amazing how i've morphed from a exam-paniky person to one who is calm and composed during exam time.

yea right, who am i kidding. i am just nonchalent, irresponsive, non-commital, and living in denial.

hey, that's a gd antedote to anyone who is facing exams now. denial. it always works babe... hahha

anyway, i'm started to study, concentrating more and seriously doing more work... in comparision to the past 12 weeks of school, i'm at least sitting down at an hrs stretch to do something... haha... speaks wonders eh. haha

not too bad...

but i'm busy trying to arrange my stupid trip over with my bro..... the interviews are all screwing up my time table over! damn it... oh well... but hopefully things will work out for the best, and i'll be parler francise soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tania @ 2:44 PM | |

finally. it's all over.

yes, my public finance tutorial (B+), money essay, accounting midterm, money midterm, international midterm... ALL DONE.

now exams are in 4 weeks time... shit shit, fire the missles. but i'm le tired... then take a nap... then fire the missles. haha

but yes... it's finally over... i can take a breather b4 the finals... then it's really study energiser time.

watched mama mia today... wasn't all that great lar... but since mummy sang along to all the songs and she seemed like she enjoyed herself pretty much... i'm glad i brought her. seems like i always have to bring her out cos pop doesn't ever!

guess i'm just doing my daughter duty... haha... i'm such a nice daughter... haha...

ok... running off now... washing off my mask... it's giving me a headache!

tania @ 1:17 AM | |

try this out. it's funny.

http://asiantown.net/blog/fla/are_you_dumb.swf

tania @ 1:12 AM | |

i give up.

shoot me now pls

tania @ 1:57 AM | |

it's 1.40 am and i'm struggling through my money and banking essay.

this is not good.

and i've got a project meeting at 2pm. aiyoh.

i might just skip the meeting. after all... i didn't do anywork for it.

haiz.

tania @ 1:19 AM | |

i slept the whole day today.

haven't done much work since, but i've made a decision.

I WILL START STUDYING

yes, tania the slacker has finally decided to pull up her socks and be the NJ tania all over again... the year 1 nus-help-desk tania that knew everything.

i shall start mugging, start keeping late nights, start mugging.

and i shall start running too. think that wld get my energy level up too. aiyoh.

tania has changed. tania will be good.

tania @ 10:18 PM | |

perhaphs getting a horrible score for international wasn't evough to wake me up.

well... my accounting marks are something that wld wake me up.

#%%^$#&^%*$W^#@^#&^$#*&%

i did so FREAKING badly that i don't even know where i'm going to hide my face during class tom. urgh. aiyoh.

this is bad.

i really better buck up and start studying... it's not so much the grade that i get, cos it's ultimately S/U, but wat happens if i actually fail it? then i got to do 6 mods next sem. not exactly wat i want to do man.

damn it. i really got to sit down and start studying...

this is not funny.

this is serious.

it's crunch time

tania @ 1:38 AM | |

i have not studied at all this week

not too good... haha... but who cares?! haha... church was alright... the sermon was on singlehood. was pretty enlightening i must say. haha...

anyway, went down to J.L with my mummy cos wanted to get some winter wear... aiyoh. i'll never wear anything like that man... it's horrible! really look like crap and everyone wld know i'm a tourist. there's no way that i'll be walking down the streets of paris like that. nope. no way. i need to look chique, even though i might not be haute couture...

so i didn't buy anything and i didn't get my luggage as well! argh! JL sucks man... but one thing i did get... and it was such a steal...

get this...

can u remember a preiod of time when triumph had all those g-strings and tongs with those diamond studs or shimmering bling blings hanging out?! ok, i know this sounds retarded, but....

there was a whole tray of them for sale!! and it was 3 for $10!! -jaw drops-

i got 3, super nice ones... will wear them as soon as i get the chance to show them off... prob during my next trip to velvet or where ever.... haha.... but it's REALLY REALLY nice and it was such a steal!!

plus, my mum paid for them!! haha...

and she was queueing up at the counter to pay with me and she refused to hold it cos she told me, "later pple think i wanna wear. u hold"

hahahhahaha....

my mum's hip and happening to be wearing a thong man...

thong de thong thong thong

tania @ 7:56 PM | |

why am i at home on a friday night?

these are a few possible reasons:
1) exams are in 5 weeks
2) staying at home cos my parents are making alot of noise
3) was finishing my public finance tutorial 6
4) nursing a hangover from last night
5) ramesh cancelled and then re-activated the party

well... i make myself sound so pitiful, all alone at home studying on a friday night... well...

i finished my tutorial! yay!!! thank God. i know i've not said that in a long time, but i think it's pretty much of a miracle that i'm done with the tutorial. pretty happy at that.

ok, getting back...

i drive down to school to hand up the tutorial... and wat do i see? i see people studying in school. yes, on a friday night. DAMN IT

why are there such muggers in the world? this is crazy.

and i know him too! he's the guy that i always mistake for loyd. sigh... they look alike to me wat..........

anyway, here i am, complaining and complaining that i'm stuck at home, not out partying... and then there are pple studying in school.

drives home the pt that buck was trying to make that i wasn't hungry enough. i have everything going for me that i just wait for things to fall into my lap... not very gd eh.

i need to be more determined, to have a drive... met adrian last night and he gave me really gd advice. "it's all the attitude" really, how true.

i can't imagine myself not working there. i want to work there so badly!!!

argh

tania @ 1:59 AM | |

i am so pissed.

i don't know how i can even sit at my table and write this.

but tonight was fun... met this new guy, adrian... he's cute... and he's funny too. grin. nice chap.

tonight was really fun. danced so much with the em desk... was bryan's birthday.

jeff came. he stood silently at the corner of the table watching me... i saw him walk in, but pretended that i didn't see him until he came over and said hi.

we talked abit... danced abit, drank alot. pity though.

it's a pity. *wink*

where the hell is chile?

i want a job at DB so bad.... i wanna cry.

oh oh oh oh oh.

i got driven today in a beetle convertable. yes yes, nice pale yellow... and it's jason's new car. WTF! 2 cars man! life is just not fair right.

anyway, i did have fun flirting around with him. he really gave me cock answers and checky faces. and i lost at 5-10 twice so i had to drink too! crap. but i made him drink 4 times so i'm better! haha...

relax? today was good. i enjoyed myself man.

gd fun in a long long time.

tania @ 3:17 AM | |

I hate the way you talk to me
And the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare

I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind
I hate you so much that it makes me sick
It even makes me ryhme

I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
Even worse when you make me cry

I hate the way you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
Not even close,
not even a little bit,
not even at all.

tania @ 1:12 AM | |

i just heard the durex sex survey on the news. it's interesting to know that singaporeans have one of the lowest libido (is that how u spell it?)... check it out @ http://www.durex.com/SG/GSSIntro.asp?intGSSYear=03&intMenuOpen=8

~*~

anyway, he left today.

no goodbyes, no farewells. let's just say it wasn't the whole animal buscuit and leaving on a jet plane shit.

just disappeared.

as usual.

i don't know why i still care, or why it still hurts. it's one of those lingering pains that smarts when u touch it... or one of those irritating flies that continues to buzz around your face.

sigh.

somebody shoot me pls.

i want to erase everything that happened btw us, so i won't feel this shit. but then again, memories are all that i have left.

oh a lighter note, i'm done with all the midterms and all my tuitions! haha... yippy yay! no more stupid questions, no more interacting with pple with lower intellec! haha...

now i can focus on studying. yes, i do need to do that. i'm so far behind it's not funny man! haha... but yes, that's wat i alway say... in the end, play play play...

but i will study lar... after this fri... haha...

velvet here i come! a well deserve break!

tania @ 9:44 PM | |

i am tired.

my mind is swirling, got a midterm and presentation tom but i am amazing calm.

perhaphs i've mastered the art of not letting the nerves get to me...

that, or just simply bo-chup-ness.

tania @ 10:55 PM | |

things i need to do in order of datelines:

1) financial accouting tutorial 7 by 11pm tonight

2) barclays verbal reasoning test by tomorrow

3) money and banking midterm by tuesday morning 10am (btw, that's 7 chapters. i've not even taken the plaxtic wrapper off the bk... watdaya think?!!)

4) financial accounting tutorial 7 presentation on tuesday 2pm

5) arrange tuition scheldue on tuesday. another 4.5 hr tution, back to back! urgh...

6) financial project, question 1 - 7 by this thursday

7) public finance tutorial 7 by this sat 12pm

that's my agenda for the week. hum......... stressed? nah.... no stress man.

easy peasy

tania @ 7:08 PM | |

just watched wimbledon...

it was good!!! haha... been a long time since i watched i watched a show!! haha..... but still... got to spend some quality time with my babby! haha... grin. been a long time since it was just the two of us!! yea babby!

anyway, bitched abt mr k chua today... sigh... i hate the way he treats me and jack just told me that he actually just ignores my calls. CRAP. missed calls i can understand. deliberately not answering?!

i don't know why i keep trying... i don't know why i bother... i don't know why i can't let go of the past and cling on to wat i used to have.... sigh.

he doesn't care. he doesn't.

now like i can get that in after 5 years... sure.

tania @ 2:02 AM | |

this is not good.

i'm tested on 5 chapters, and i'm 2.5 chapters done.

but i've still got 2.5 chapters, past year papers and readings to go through.

i have... abt 20hrs to my paper... out of which:

7hr wld prob be spent sleeping

2hr misc stuff

1hr singapore idol...

so that's 10 hours left.

hey, that's actually not bad. why am i stressed again?

cos oh wait... i don't know shit... sigh.

~*~

got grilled again by buck today. i think i shld just not on my yahoo msgner... that way he can't ask me anything...

in the past 2 days, i've been grilled on NOL, temasek, air plane tix, budget travel... sigh... this is not good.

and somebody tell me pls, who's this karthik person that he's been talking abt?!!!!

and why doesn't bryan like me?!! why? sigh... maybe cos i'm prettier than him!


urgh. i'm still a walking time bomb. staying at home to minimise my explosion radius. why won't pms just be all fun and bubbles?!! grr

tania @ 7:39 PM | |

i am numb

why am i not studying when i have a midterm on sat and i totally know nothing abt? yes. i mean nothing.

luckily it's mcq

but still... have i not learnt from my international failure that i need to study? sigh... i've not gotten down to the groove of things yet.

sigh. i am going to fail.

fall flat on my face. sigh. i hate this world. CRAP

i dun wanna study anymore. i want things to fall into my lap.

gd things mind u, not bird crap or one of those anvels in those roadrunner cartoons.

sigh.

sigh.

sigh

i just want to die.

i think it's massive pms. and the p stands for permanent.

tania @ 1:41 AM | |

"you know how hard i faught for u and aurelius?

you have gone soft. where's the attitude? where's the spunk?! we hired u cos of your potential. i saw that u had the passion, the drive. where is it now?!

u're soft. no hunger, no drive. how like that?!

the job's not urs u know. u've not gotten it. u're going to lose it to the FBIs and the SOCs. buck up.

nothing's going to fall on your lap u know. don't just sit there and wait for me to tell u things. i want u to go out and find it, to want to find it in the first place.

u disappoint me, tania. u and aurelius. i gave u a chance and u blew it.

but u got one more chance. u better buck up understand. i want to see you working here with me, but i can't give u the job if u don't display to me that u want it. that you're doing something to want it.

use the time from now till then to read up and i mean REALLY read up. u got a lot of catching up to do. use this last chance tania, that's all i can do to help u.

don't disappoint me again."


~*~

now with a conversation like that, how can u not feel like jumping off a building?

tania @ 11:54 PM | |

20 Questions to a Better Relationship

eXpressive: 7/10
Practical: 2/10
Physical: 3/10
Giver: 6/10

You are a XSIG--Expressive Sentimental Intellectual Giver. This makes you a Teddy Bear.Hee! I just want to give you a big squeeze.

You are tender, honest, generous and fair. You are an excellent kisser and a sensitive, communicative lover, and you know it. You would never intentionally hurt someone's feelings or overstep his/her boundaries. You have beautiful eyes.

Most people take your laid-back attitude, blazing wit and subtle sexiness and stick you in "friend." But some see your extreme hotness for what it is and latch on. This means you have a few members of your target sex in the bank at all times -- I call this "money in the sex bank" -- but you're too sensitive and thoughtful to exploit them. More than once.

You are so rational and deliberate in an argument that it can frustrate and exhaust your partner. Your fights can take forever, but your press on with them until they are completely resolved and both you and your partner are satisfied. If your partner is weak of will, s/he may just give in -- be wary of this! An emotional or passive-aggressive outburst later will hurt and horrify you.

It is *critically important* that you are able to respect your partner. The moment you lose respect for him/her, you lose everything. When you make friends, you make them for life -- you can go without speaking to a friend for years and pick up right where you left off.

You are completely faithful, both physically and emotionally. You are the second best (to XPIG) parent of any type. If you are male, you have a huge shlong. Just saying.

Of the 120958 people who have taken this quiz, 8.1 % are this type.

tania @ 1:51 AM | |

20 Questions to a Better Personality

Wackiness: 64/100

Rationality: 40/100

Constructiveness: 60/100

Leadership: 76/100

You are a WECL--Wacky Emotional Constructive Leader. This makes you a People`s Advocate.

You are passionate about your causes, with a good heart and good endeavors. Your personal fire is contagious, and others wish they could be as dedicated to their beliefs as you are. Your dedication may cause you to miss the boat on life's more slight and trivial activities.

You will feel no loss when skipping some inane mixer, but it can be frustrating to others to whom such things are important. While you find it difficult to see other points of view, it may be useful to act as if you do, and play along once in a while.

In any event, you have buckets of charisma and a natural skill for making people open up. Your greatest asset is an ability to make progress while keeping the peace.

Of the 37717 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 6.1 % are this type.

tania @ 1:03 AM | |

today was the DB recruitment talk

i can't believe so many people came down today! 25+ all in all, though there where prob 7-8 from GM...

i met so many people!

and get this, they ALL remember my name, and paul even called me ms goh! haha... did i make an impression or wat?!

it was great to see danny and chris, rohit and kimmy kim, bryan(not so much cos i don't think he likes me)... really enjoyed myself talking to them.

it makes me even more than certain that this is a place that i want to work in. i want a place that i can improve myself, have challenges everyday... a place where they work hard and play hard. i want that.

i don't care abt the early mornings, or the late nights... i'm willing to put in all my effort into getting this job. and yes, i have to push back my uk trip by about a week. sigh... gotta call marny up tom and see how things go.

looking at the room full of hopefuls, i know that there are many out there that are acutally smarter than me. i don't have estella grades... what i do have, i believe is the personality. and that u can't learn, or that u can't buy.

kimmy kim said that i shldn't be worried. sigh. shld i? i'm competing with the brightest bunch there is. the only advantage i have is that these people know me. these people know what i can do and wat i cannot do. and what i know is the culture. i fit into the culture. pple work hard and pple play hard. that's a balance that i want.

i'm scared that i don't get the job. of course i'm worried that they won't take me. they can have the pick of the whole world. but i do hope that i get this.

i want it more cos i get to travel. and that i have a passion to succeed. and of course it doesn't hurt that i'll be getting paid in obscenes amts! haha.

i want it damn it.

meeeeee wannnnnnnnnnn

tania @ 8:50 PM | |

the illegal cell is planning an exodus.

i don't know how to feel abt that... initially i'm pretty on abt leaving. i take it as i'm not growing here, so i'm going somewhere else where i can grow... i don't look at it like i'm running away.

how?

everyone is torn between leaving and staying.

how can i leave, when i promised u last night that i'll follow the vision?

how can i leave, when my G12 lanyard fell from my shelf as i was talking abt leaving.

i know i'm not growing, but that's cos i'm not doing anything. true, there must be seasons of giving and taking, but i just don't know wat to do anymore.

i wish things cld be as easy as u zapping me with wat u want me to do.

i don't know. i really don't know.

why have things been so complicated? y have some of us come to challenge the vision as we have now. wat's wrong with us? are we just doing this cos we're unhappy? or is there a greater reason?

SWW saw people vomitting, throwing fits, being possesed. damn that was scary, i shld have been there. i don't believe in this until i see it, but WOAH, i'll be damn scared if i do man. but i want to see it.

i want to see the reality of things. i want to see something that i can fight. i want to know that i'm on the winning side.

why do i believe? cos i'm weak? cos i need someone to turn to, to make things right?

i'm confused. thoughts are rushing through my head and it's causing me such a headache, and heartache as well.

i don't know wat to do.

zap me won't u?

tania @ 1:28 AM | |