Sunday, July 08, 2007
Closure
You know those moments in a restaurant, where you look at the menu and can't decide what to order? You make a decision, only to change it immediately when the waiter comes to take your order?
Yea, I'm talking about those moments.
The grass is always greener on the other side. Human nature to want what you can't have and be unsatisfied once you obtain it.
I have in the past year obtained everything I've ever wanted. I've got a marriage proposal from the man of my life, a job that I've worked towards since year 2 in uni, and many other mindless materialistic things I had on my "want" list. And now that I've achieved them, what's left?
What's left to live for once you obtained all you ever wanted? Live to sustain or live for sustaining?
Make new plans I guess. Right now, everything that I could ever want is material, a nice house, a fancy car, being MD at 35... all material. I could want a family of my own, but I am not ready. So... for the next 2-3 years, what should I live for?
I am ready to settle down, but I am settling. I've embraced the nagging thought of "what-ifs" and am willing to settle. Rather than taking the risk of never crossing the river, I'll rather not miss the boat. It is a good, steady, sturdy boat which will not let me down, but the ride on the river would not be exciting anymore. No more surprises, excitment along the way.
I've traded it all in for familiarity, for comfort, for assurance.
I've made my choice. I just have to stick to it despite the doubts, the distractions, the instinct to flee.
