Saturday, April 30, 2005
i change my mind
ok, i know i said this in the previous post:
right now, i'm stoned. ok, not stoned like puking kind, but it was bad enough after the 3 B52s that i downed(plus many other misc stuff). yucks.
but i change my mind.
puked the whole morning. suffering from minor hangover. not too good considering i have to remember what souresh said now.
time to start IO studying!
velvet rocks
my last time i stepped into the place and danced and drank was like last year before i left for uk. (not counting the time i went with luyi when she was back. that was like a stop over)
it was so good! it's as good as i remembered, with so many good looking men! yes, MEN! unlike the boys at phuture or zouk, velvet houses men! woohoo.
had a talk with mike.p. today at balas. damn it! i shld have noticed something was up man! d'oh. it was really silly of me to forget his name. SHITTT. will blog abt that later.
jeff was there. ******* (censored) haha
right now, i'm stoned. ok, not stoned like puking kind, but it was bad enough after the 3 B52s that i downed(plus many other misc stuff). yucks.
i just want to crawl into bed and not roll out until abt noon.
peace out.
Friday, April 29, 2005
liberation
i really feel lighter now. i've got things off my chest. this huge responsibility is gone. deleted from history.
i felt sad when i deleted that secret part of my life. like erasing certain memories. oh, they did happen, but now, there is no written record of it left. it's gone. with the wind.
oh how lame. yes, yes, i hear u
the horrendous thursday with 2 papers is finally over. taking a break, clearing my emails (which are ALOT) and just surfing. blog surfing, reading news, everything to escape from studying.
last paper is on tues, haven't prepared totally, but will start tom.
but right now, i really feel lighter. my history is erased, and it's time to start on a brand new page.
time for fresh new beginnings
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
confused posts
*** i've deleted the entry that i posted. i realised it was abit too harsh, and it was plain distaseful. so i apologise. but i will leave the last few sentences i wrote.***
so it is over. if it was me, or if it wasn't me. it doesn't matter.
it doesn't matter if i loved him, or if i can still love him, or if i'm still in love with him.
it can never be me. and he can never be mine.
and that breaks me even if i tell myself it doesn't.
Monday, April 25, 2005
HOT
it's getting hot in here, so take off all ur clothes.
it's damn damn damn freaking hot, and it doesn't help that i'm stuck at home for this whole week and have no life.
and since i'm stuck here for a whole week, i realised that i am really, a computer addict. i remember in year 2 sem 1 finals the craze was friendster, and everyday i'll just go home and check my account. i strangly had a little orgasm everytime my number of friends increased. yes i know, i'm deprived.
and now, it's blogging. i find myself compelled to checking in on my friends' blogs everytime i turn on my comp, which is like 4-5 times a day. i mean, there's no sane person out there who can blog so much, and so often. but still, i check.
and so, because i don't want blogging to be my downfall for this sem. (every sem i'll blame something for my bad grades, and it has never been "ME") i will stop blogging till after my exams, which is next week. or if i really buay tahan, this thurs, after my 2 papers.
and i shall stop reading a certain blog, cos everytime i visit the page, i just get so agitated. the blogger's plain stupidity and sheer myopic views on life irks me badly. so there. getting rid of the bane in my life.
so no blogging, no blog reading, only studying. (yea right)
Saturday, April 23, 2005
comfort shopping
went out with SA to do some shopping last night. yes, i know i'm in the middle of my exams and there shld be a million other things that i shld or can be doing, but yea, i needed the stress reliver.
went shopping at cK and i got the most gorgeous jacket ever! cK jeans is back in s'pore and it just opened at paragon. nothing much there lar, didn't really want to get another pair of jeans. i mean, adding 1 more to the 20 that i already have?!! no way.
we had dinner at coffee club at taka, and it was really nice just talking to him. as in we're at a very comfortable stage in our friendship... haha... yea. and it's so much more intellectually stimulating talking to him cos i always asks him like current affairs and religion stuff right, and well... he has alot of views.
and he told me something after i exasperatedly complaining abt xiaxue saying that God was a cockcroach... he said why the hell am i so bothered by it? don't i have enough pressing issues in my life that i have to be bothered by a juvenile?
and then he goes on telling me how little time he has in a day, and there's so much money to be made. the world's your oyster, so many opportunities out there to take hold of, and all i can be bothered abt is reading and writing blogs.
how childish
so i pondered on what he said... maybe i have no life that's why i'm blogging so much... or i have no one to talk to, so i'm just posting something online and telling myself that at least it's being read by someone.
my life needs to have more purpose, more passion and most importantly, a direction. no use using all my strength and running in the wrong direction right.
i guess i need to grow up. can't be the sheltered spoilt brat forever can i?
comforting myself
isn't it just human to:
-just shrug something bad that happens? just telling urself that it's bad luck, xuay, or just not ur day?
- how abt rationalising ur mistakes and blunders to make yourself seem more susceptable to failure.
-how u always put the blame on circumstances rather than personal faults.
-remember only the good for the pple that you like and can only remember the bad of someone that u don't?
-believe that the person u love can do no wrong
-think abt "it can't be me", because if u did, the expectation level is there and you absolutely cannot take the disappointment if it just wasn't u.
i cannot expect anything. i cannot go through this all over again. this uncertainty is killing me, and i just want to know who is she?
who succeeded when i failed? who won the war when i won the battle?
am i willing to go through this all over again? i don't even want to consider that cos that wld mean that i've already considered she to be me.
i don't know if u read this... but if u do, and the promises in your blog are mine, then call me, email me, watever... let me know, then i'll consider.
just to let u know, i cannot be broken again.
Friday, April 22, 2005
it has started
1 down, 4 more to go. well, i didn't exactly start the day on the right foot, considering i woke up late. gulp. jolted out of bed at 8.06am for a 9am paper. beat that man. luckily pop sent me to school.
but i thought the paper went fine. i didn't really put in much effort on the first 5 topics, because it was already tested, and only mcq wld come out. however, the mcq's for those topics were pretty tricky cos i cldn't really remember the readings. d'oh
the essay component went well enough. i only studied 2 out of 5 topics in detailed, and both of them came out which i believe that i wld have scored equally well if i had done either.
i felt that the 2 page limit was too short, and i have enormous exam handwriting... so that doesn't do my 2 pages justice. damn. i finished my essay with half an hour to spare, i had so much more to write, but i wasn't sure whether the markers wld not mark anything beyond the second page.
i was contemplating rewriting the essay, in my neater and smaller handwriting, so that i cld squeeze in more facts, but decided against it. i hope i don't regret it...
anyway, soci is over. phew. next paper on tues, real estate finance. yes, i can calculate mortgages and financing stuff.
the real killer would be on thurs, when i have 2 papers in a day... and as hard as i tried to plan my mods so that none wld clash with each other, there was no way i cld have avoided this 2 papers in one day. crap.
ok, hopefully it'll go well. to all those who are taking or studying for exams, take heart, it'll be over soon.
i shld know, i'm graduating in 3 weeks.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
i am annoyed.
now, i'm not a fan of xiaxue or xia xuay or whatever, and i honestly think that pple who read her blog and agree with what ever she says should just grow a brain or attend SC1101E to teach them how to think or whatever.
and the only reason why i read her blog was cos addy told me that she had posted something on religion and it was well... her typical post. she's just horrid. a super big plain bigot.
xiaxue's take on funerals
now, here she goes on rambling abt how insensitive the pastor is, and how inappropriate it is to go preaching at a christian funeral. ok, i understand that this girl is in grief and probably can't think straight, but look. it's a christian funeral. what do u expect the pastor to do? talk abt buddha or allah?
ok, being a christian, i shall attempt to cast aside personal view pts because they are personal and not shared by everyone. i will take an objective viewpoint on this issue, and hold my tongue(or fingers) from expressing any profanities.
her post (from what i gather) is centered about being sensitive to people's feelings. i'm all for that man. there is a time to grief, and trust me, i've attended my fair share of funerals. and i'm not talking abt old people funerals, but young healthy friends of mine who went terribly.
so in view of her sensitivity, i ask then why she
posted this
in this post, she chides a man who died, a horrible death as well, fucking fucking stupid. now, let's all raise our hands up and clap for this sensitive girl.
while there is some truth that the events leading to the two deaths are different, we cannot steer away from the main points. both died horrible deaths and both of them have grieving families.
perhaps it was alright to call him fucking stupid because u wasn't at his funeral. but xiaxue is the winner of ASIA's best blog. common, even the people at blogspot read her blog. imagine the number of people that would have read this. how her one simple sensitive post would have trivialize this guy's death.
i can go on and dispute her other points, and i admit that i feel strongly mainly because i am a christian and i hold my faith strongly. so i shall refrain, as it's not my intention of imposing my faith onto people who are not receptive.
the main pt here was the pastor's insensitivity to the appropriate funeral rites, and xiaxue's insensitive comments.
similar huh.
i would like to add that if anyone would like to know more abt the after life and christianity in general, i'll like to extend an open invitation to my church service or u can ask me any questions.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
he's in love
he just started a blog, and he sent me the link... now, i wld like to claim credit for him starting the blog cos i told him once during our msn conversation. he told me that he wldn't start one cos it was private, but if he did, he wld let me know.
so i just thought that was the typical brush off he always uses, but hey, he really did start one, all thanks to me.
i'm starting to think that i'm a very influencial person. laura just told me that i'm infamous with all her thai sasin MBA friends cos of my "mango sticky rice". i even have that action named after me. woohoo. hurry, ask for my autograph before i rise to the clouds.
anyway, his blog. yes.
so he writes in code, something that i'm sure we're all familiar with cos sometimes, we want to write, but we don't want pple to know what or who we're talking abt. so it only makes sense to us. and it makes perfect sense to only us. other pple reading it wld be like wtf. i know how that is, sometimes i write that way too.
but the gist of it is, he's in love. and from wat i gather, it's someone that he met there. oh well... love lost is an experienced gain.
guess it's really time to move on and stop harping on what cld have been, and focus my energy on what can be.
i'll be graduating and going into the coporate world. (i hope) i'm sure it'll be a whole new ball game there, with new pple that i'll be meeting, and i'm sure that my expectations wld change again. what was enough for me in secondary/jc is definately not enough now, and i'm sure it'll be the same later on... in abt 4-5 months time.
so as we change and enter different transitions in our life, our expectations of ourselves change too. our lifestyle, our aspirations, our goals... and i can't expect the same level of comfort i did in yester years.
so maybe i'll get what i want, when i know what i want. right now, i'm still finding my path, my direction, my purpose.
Monday, April 18, 2005
When the Blogger Blogs, Can the Employer Intervene?
By TOM ZELLER Jr.
After several high-profile incidents of bloggers being fired by their employers, companies are finally addressing the problems of employees who may be telling the world their business.
interesting...
my english no-good meh?
so i met laura for dinner yesterday. she flew in from bkk for an interview with db and wld only be in for a night. cldn't get the car to pick her up at the airport, so i met her at conrad instead.
it was nice to get out of my house, considering i've been cooped up almost the whole week studying. yes, it was nice to get out and do some shopping and catching up with her.
i wonder whether pple find us an odd pair as we tong through the streets of orchard and chinatown. for one, she's 30+ and i'm 20+, that's a whole 10 years or so age difference btw us. so that's wat's visually uncompatible.
as for those that didn't see us, i'm sure some heard us. if i have a loud voice, laura has a mega microphone voice. not that it's bad, but i'm sure u can imagine the damage we cld do if we combine our powers together.
growing up in ny, laura has a typical american accent, not the hill billy kind, but the true newyorker accent. and u know that this is real, cos she grew up there, unlike some of my other friends who after a holiday comes back speaking with some psudo accent. ex-a-cly
now, i'm all for speaking good proper english, and i admit that when i was in uk last year, i did start speaking like them to the locals, cos, they'll never understand u otherwise! maybe it's the intonation, or the slang, but i did make a conscious effort to cut out my meh/lar/lor/huh
but when u're back here in s'pore, i can't stant those pple who still talk like that! urgh, the national language here is singlish ok. don't believe, go newton and talk with ur funny accent and see whether they charge u $35 for sting ray
so anyway, while i was with laura for the better part of sunday, i had to make an effort to make sure that she understood wat the hell i was talking about.
i guess it's much better than the first time we met, cos she wld just stare blankly at me. now, we're ok.
we speak the common language of shoes, clothes and good food.
~*~
it's monday and my first paper is at 9am on fri. that leaves me around 3.5 days to study for the paper, and i hope that's enough, considering i've not touched soci at all.
got the readings to tackle, textbook, and tutorial notes. urgh.
time to start cracking.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
likdat can also make news on channel news asia ar? cock. no wonder they say singaporeans no life.
Pizza stolen from delivery man's motorcycle in West Coast Rd
SINGAPORE : A pizza delivery man lost a Hawaiian pan pizza to an apparently hungry thief on Thursday evening. Police said the part-time delivery man, who is in his 20s, was at block 729 of West Coast Road.
stolen pizza
Saturday, April 16, 2005
private entries
i realised that this blog is read by many many people... and, as much as i started this blog as a way to vent my anger and write my personal thoughts (otherwise i might really go crazy), it has now been something to just ramble on nonsense, or just trival daily stuff that are interesting to my readers.
and i realised that i'm subconsciously censoring my post, because i'm scared that that person i am bitching abt might come across it. well, i cld use code names, like Mr S or Mr R, but there are only 26 codes i can use in this instance, and i'm sure i'll get confused when i read back on it! haha. yea, i just have so many guys.
so that comes a dilema... i really want to write what i feel, but i'm scared abt the repercussions, and of course, i'm afraid of wat my friends who are reading it might think. look, we all want to be pure and holy, but i'm sure we're not.
we all have our deep dark secrets... some pple just have more than others
and i just want my own private space, an annoymous identity to write. who knows, i cld be the next sarong party girl, whose entries are so... real. i mean, there are pple like that in the world, and i bet the reason why she never mentions her name or post pics of her face is cos she's scared she'll get recognised, and what wld pple think then?
it's all nice and dandy when u're reading a blog that of someone. u don't judge the person, simply cos u don't know the person. sure, u might not agree with the way that she's living her life, but at least she's honest abt it. and at least she's writing it all down, rather than keeping it inside and exploding one day.
so that's me. i'm so afraid that if i don't voice out my opinions, my real uncut, uncensored views abt life, my bitching, and my deep dark secrets, i'm afraid that i'll go mad.
as it is, i'm already balancing myself on the brink of insanity, when i've gone through relationship after relationship, guy after guy who have challanged my will to remain sane. there must be something wrong with me for attracting pple like these. i totally have a sign on my head that says that.
so maybe i'll start another blog, maybe i'll try live journal... i heard that u an approved friend list to read it.
then maybe, i won't go insane... yet
http://singaporearmystories.blogspot.com/2005/04/i-have-lazer-gun.html
this is super funny. just go read
Friday, April 15, 2005
my last week
today was my last day in my uni life. that's assuming i don't do my honours cos either
1. csfb offers me a job after my internship
2. someone offers me a job
3. i meet a rich man and get married. (just need to learn how to play majong)
4. my lasik goes wrong and i become blind CHOY!
anyway, i basically spent my day in school, attending lectures and walking around alone. can u believe that i attended 6hr of class today?!! unbelievable man. ok, this is coming from someone who has 2 day school ok. self declared.... but still!
as i walked around campus today, from BREE to engine to bizad to ARTS (i had classes in these places, i'm not that nostalgic) it occured to me that i kinda wasted my uni life.
what's there that i can be proud of? i look back, and i only leave nus with a paper in my hand that certifies that i have a BA in econs, and a handful of friends that i know i will keep in touch with.
sure, i've made many friends. i know people in school, but it's not the same as having a really tight clique to go around with, to claim territory, and to just live in our own bubble world.
and i'm not even graduating with honours! wtf. this is coming from a 7 pointer mgs, njc-ian?!! i obviously mugged too hard earlier on and used up my quota right. urgh. i mean... obviously i'm not dumb, so it irks me to think that i'm not maximising my full potential. hey, i'm capable, but i'm lazy.
so that's my excuse, and i live by that. how loser can that be? i'm just finding excuses why i'm not doing my best... sigh. but it's too late to pull up my cap. after my disasterous 2 Cs and a B last sem... pulled down my cap way too far. oh well.
oh a lighter note, the scheldue for my commencement is out. and i just found out that everyone gets to graduate together!! yay!! it's apparently according to majors, so basically most of the hell gang are econs major, so yay!! it's nice to know that i'll be graduating with all my friends, or people that i shared my uni life with.
in a sense, it's truely commencement. it's a start of something new, something exciting, something unexpected. rather than using the term graduation, which implies the end, finito and that's that.
perhaphs commencement carries with it some glimsp of hope.
maybe
Thursday, April 14, 2005
step by step
i deleted him from my msn list today.
i just realised that i was going crazy when i kept checking whether he was online, whether he changed his nick, or just whether i shld msg him first.
then i got to the point when it was just psychotic.
i didn't realise the hold he still has over me, or maybe i was just denying it all this time. well, i guess i'm taking the first step to get over my denial and admitting it now. well, that's a start, no??
what was the straw that broke the camel's back?
it was a mightly big one. i mean, i cld be dreaming, but i heard his voice. i was taking a nap, and as usual, thinking abt kc, when He screamed at me. woah. that was scary. i mean, i could be dreaming, but i rather play it safe.
it was Him, there was no mistaking the low, resounding, all powerful voice that He had.
and it's amazing, cos i've never ever heard Him before. this time, it was loud and clear, and let's just say He wasn't happy.
so yes, this is my first step to getting over kc. i'm trying to not let him have a hold over my life, even if he doesn't do or say anything.
either that or i'm just going crazy.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
it's damn funny
i'm starting to listen to mr. brown's webcast.
holy shit. it's damn funny. i can't take it.
i'm sending this file to andy, so that he can listen to how singaporean talks, so that he can practice before he comes over.
haha. this is really good stress reliever after the horrible RE tutorial. it's super long and tedious man. actually i think it's pretty good module to take. it's easy, if u want to put in the effort.
but, BUT since it's S/U, i refuse to study, and just put in the minimum effort. i need to put in more effort for my soci and my geo, since it's graded, and it's hard.
as for my labour and my IO, i have to get As for that. these are my last two econs mod man... give pak and souresh a run for their money man!
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
relationship woes
i've been doing alot of thinking on the bus lately, not cos SBS has made public transport such a condusive place for innovative thoughts, but rather, i think that's the only time i've got to think now adays.
i was looking at this couple on the bus, and their PDA, and i turned away in disgust. get a room can't u?! but as i thought more abt it, i realised i wasn't turning away because i was disgusted, but rather cos i was jealous... there i said it jealous.
yes, u see all these happy couples around u, and u can't help but wonder what's wrong with u that u can't get a bf in uni. hell, i've gone from RBR to main shelf to closed stack man... now, i'm just but a request item.
so it's not that i'm disgusted with their act of PDA, i mean, it wasn't anything too much, like they won't gropping or anything, but rather, those silly sa jiao that the girl wld do, or the kiss on the forehead kind. i think i looked away cos i didn't want to remind myself that i didn't have that.
as much as i study, as much as i get my As, get my dream job in an investment bank, make it big, drive my dream car, live in that condo penthouse, and as much as i am the envy of my friends, and as much as society thinks i've made it, i'm a success, i'm not.
i'm not complete until i find a guy that i can say "i'm his"
don't get me wrong, i'm all for women's independence and all, but hey, i'm a human after all, and i think that i need companionship, and someone to love me, and someone for me to love
as i'm thinking abt where i want to go on my grad trip, i realised that it really doesn't matter. no matter where i want to go, there won't be anyone who wld want to go with me. ok, i'm not such a loser lar, but all my gfs have their bfs, and if we were to go on a trip, the bfs wld come along too. and i don't wanna be a lightbulb. either that or some friends wanna go but have no money... etc.
basically, i want someone who's there for me, to do things with, and to share my life with. u live because u know that there's someone out there that's living because of u too.
i know that dampens my whole women power rara, but yea, that's what i honestly believe.
alvan said that i'm too choosy, and that i only go out with guys that are either rich or good looking. i tried to protest that, but he stood by his claims, and it was only on the bus that i found a good counter for him.
yes, it's true that all my previous ex-s are either rich, good looking or both, but it's just a coincidence. i did not go out with them cos of their money or their looks. it was cos of their personality.
but the fact that we broke up is cos we were not intellectually compatible. ok, i'm not saying that i'm a genius of einstein, but i need someone who can match my intellec, someone who i can have sustainable arguments erm, discussions with.
so that's why i'm still single.
i've not found someone that has tickled my intellectual funny bone, or has given me an intellectual orgasm (as used by jess).
i don't have high standards, or neither am i picky, i'm just... waiting.
Monday, April 11, 2005
9 more days
that's the amt of time i have left to study for my finals. CRAP.
so my first paper is soci, and i haven't really studied for it yet. i finally finished my IO and Labour today! yay! not so much past year papers, but at least lectures and tutorials! yay.
i honestly don't know how to study for soci and geo man. i know i'm in arts, but hey, i'm an econs major ok. i don't write essays. i'm a social sciencer. hahaha... that's my excuse huh.
oh well...
got RE lect later at 7pm, yes i know, no life right, but what to do, moses my best friend wat... urgh... have to go school early as well, to buy envelopes, go photocopy some rbr stuff. urgh
u know i'm seriously thinking what i want to do my studies... i really want to go somewhere and let everything go. just go and be alone... haha, shld go tibet and find nivana right.
i wanna go spain, italy, switzerland, amsterdam, aiyoh, basically the whole of europe, uk and states. damn.
how nice if i cld just live on a boat and sail from place to place.
and have endless money too. haha
Sunday, April 10, 2005
english lesson
i'm awake very early on a sunday morning, why? cos i had to go for qing ming... grr. and of all places, where is my grandma laid to rest? lor 8 geylang. cos the lao ah peks who are spending eternalty there must be having a field day.
anyway, i was talking to luyi abt the word "programme". i had spelt is as "program" in one of my cover letters, and i started to panic, cos i thought i had made a mistake.
so, after talking to her, i realised that "program" is US spelling and "programme" is british spelling.
now, this sucks cos everyone who knows me knows that i have a spelling problem. i honestly think i'm mildly dyslexic... at least i don't see birds fly backwards eh.
SO, i asked my mum the english teacher her take on "programme"... and she said, yea, "programme" is british and "program" is american... cos she said the americans are lazy so they leave out letters, and have as little letters as possible in their words, eg. colour vs color.
and so my mum goes on to say, "it's the same with centre and center" and i was like, "WHAT?"
now, i've always been using "center" to mean middle of something, like the center of the table, or center of the room... and "centre" to mean a place, like shopping centre, city centre.
but apparently, i'm wrong! holy crap... and this after i consulted millions (ok, maybe just 2) dictionarys to convince myself.
didya guys know that? or am i still the only person in the world to know that?!!
ok, so comes my grapple with the whole english and british spelling... why can't there just be one standard english system?!! i mean, hey, it's bad enough that my english is under attack by the bigots who think singlish isn't english. comon!
u speak queen's english? i speak PCK english. i than power lar!
yes, so now i've got an additional task, to differeniate my audience, to write british english to a brit, american english to an american, and singlish to a singaporean.
Saturday, April 09, 2005
hell lovers bbq at pgp
thanks to alvan for organising the bbq, food, logistic, drinks... it was great man. thanks. well, since u're so good at organising, u shall be in charge of organising these activities in the future! haha.
well, it's been 3 years since chuita was formed and outcasted from the orientation program, but hey, we're still alive and together!
can't believe that 3 years have passed just like that, but i cldn't ask for anyone better than to share ice tea, playing cards, and basically hanging out in the canteen.
tonight was great. the past years fantastic.
thanks peps. XOXO
give that man a tiger!
the cali girls
let's get the party started!!
addy and i with the minorities! (ok, yan daos)
alwen is sek-si!!!
sexy bloggers
robby and i, and er... spoiler
leon and i sharing a mashmellow.
claris and i
ah koh and ah tan
kevin's holy pants!
robby and daniel's bday
zai and satish
hello kitty stickers on alvan's head
the guys
New laserlipolysis treatment uses pulsed laser beam to remove body fats
SINGAPORE : Want to get rid of those extra kilos but think liposuction takes too much time? Well, you may be willing to go through this - "Laserlipolysis". It is an Italian treatment that uses a pulsed laser beam to eliminate fatty tissues which are then sucked out by an external pump as an oily liquid.
http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/
singaporelocalnews/view/141496/1/.html
Thursday, April 07, 2005
1hr of combat, 1hr of running + stairmaster, 1 calamari, 2 pizzas, 3 pair of shoes and 2 new blush! bras later, i'm satstified.
staying at home for the past week has started to get on my nerves, and even though i'm not going out, i'm not using all 24hr to study either. not very productive. so today, i had to satisfy my inner lazy bum. i went shopping.
it was good man.
the combat was good, and even though i'm still not very familiar with the steps, i know i'm getting better. hee. and u know it's a good workout when u're sweating like no body's business, and u're body is just moving in motion, detached from ur brain cos ur brain is telling u, wait no, screaming at u to stop, and breathe. not enough oxygen i guess. i've got a small nose.
met vic later at hv to have dinner at spizza. the food there is alright, not fantastic, but vic has never tried the place, so yea...
and i bought shoes!!!! 3 pairs to be exact!!! crap... while waiting for vic who was late, (again!) i was in exodus, and they were having a sale. gosh, where can u get shoes from $19 per pair?!!! my gosh. they were really cheap and pretty man! and it was originally like $40-$50? woah mama... i feel gooddddd...
anyway, i ate so much that i'm so freaking bloated. which is not a good sign cos i keep stuffing my face with so much crap it's ridiculous.
for the past 2 nights, i've been eating chocolate chip cookies while studying and even though i try to curb my "cravings" it's impossible man!!
i can almost see a flash back to the days leading up to the Os when i was just chowing on oero's night after night.
ouch.
now i know where the extra 5kg on my tighs came from.
ok, i'm almost finished with my labour, and i got 2 more chapters... 3 more geo webcast, and geo, soci, and re left to study. urgh.
ok, 14 more days.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
i'm being stalked! helped.
this is not funny, when u've known what i've been through.
i've been stalked by the guy who stole my hp in jc. he has my hp number and wld use to call me to chide me for losing it. what an ass right. ok, there was nothing like "dirty" abt the conversation, but he wld just call and laugh. that was irritating.
now this is scary.
i got a call once on my hp during class and it was someone by the name of andrew. and i thought it was someone that i knew, but then he started telling me like "dirty" stuff and i got really freaked out. walked back into lecture and i was shaking. now, nobody wants to hear, "i want to put my hand on ur XXX and XXX" that kinda of thing.
the thing was, we actually talked for a while before he said all these stuff. ok, my bad, but hey, he knew my name and he used the identity of a certain andrew that i knew.
BUT NOW it's different. this guy actually called my house.
i got a call around 12:13 (i've got caller id but he's number is unlisted) and this guy asked for me using my name, and he said he was andrew. i was like andrew wat. hey, u're name is not like some uncommon name like barnabas or some legolas right.
so then he goes on abt how he's in nus and he picked up his courage to call me, but all the time that he's babbling all these nonsense, i kept thinking, hey, he's the same andrew.
so i told him that i was eating and that he shld call back later. he was in the midst of saying something but i just put down the phone, goosebumps all over. (it doesn't help that i came down to find my breakfast infested with ants)
i'm really thinking that it's one of those dirty calls, and i'm lucky that i put down before he even called. and if it wasn't, i mean, then he'll call back. and another thing, who EVER calls my home?!! he didn't call my hp, he called home!!! that's weird.
anyway, i'm really spooked. very disturbed in fact.
help.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
"In his words, and repeated several times, he seemed to have said the following sentences. 'I have looked for you. Now you have come to me. And I thank you.'"
JOAQUIN NAVARRO-VALLS, the pope's chief spokesman, on words spoken by the pope.
and he's last words? "AMEN"
now, how holy is that? he was truely a man of God... and even though i'm not catholic, but honestly, he was a man after God's heart.
i think my last words wld be along the lines of "awaaa f*ck"
but i think he has lived his life well, and as much as CNN, BBC, CNBC and CNA has been covering his death, i wld think that this is part of life... no? i mean, it wasn't like an accident, or like a freak of nature, the pope died of old age. this is the way of life, yes? i guess he left behind a legacy and was well respected. his reward is in heaven
i'm sure the angels are smiling and heaven is rejoicing as they welcome this man of God.
and the only thing i can think of is when i heard that the pope had died?
damn, i shld have gone italy instead of france in dec. now, the vatican won't be the same.
how shallow am i?
AMEN
Description of Your First Name of: Tania
Though the name Tania creates the urge to understand and help people, we draw to your attention that it causes an emotional intensity and sensitivity that is hard to control. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the fluid and nervous system.
Your first name of Tania has given you a friendly, likeable nature, and you could excel in artistic, dramatic, and musical expression. With this name, you desire the finer things in life, but you do not always have the resolve and vitality to put forth the effort necessary to fulfil your desires. Your emotional feelings are easily affected and you will always be involved in other people's problems as a result of your overly sympathetic nature.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
i guess there is a higher power telling me not to go for lasik.
if i had made up my mind to go for lasik this monday, then i still wldn't be able to undergo surgery cos SGH cancelled all non-urgent operations. now, how abt that for devine intervention?!
ok, i'm not sure whether SNEC is considered under SGH, but it shld be right, considering they are part of the same place and it's under singhealth and all.
anyway, it's cos of some virus that's going around that is spreading in SGH itself. i think it was reported that they found 15 comfirmed cases and another 93 patients are under observations.
now, i don't think this is as bad as the SARS scare, but i was at SGH yesterday! what happened if i caught something?!! oh no!
haha... but as of now, i believe that it's devine intervention, and it's prob God's way of telling me not to do it... or rather not to do it this week. keheehee
ok, back to studying. i only did 1.5 chapters last night after taking a really long afternoon nap and watching some random TV programs late at night.
*puff* so much for self control.
Friday, April 01, 2005
and so it is...just like u said it wld be...life goes easy on me...most of the time...
and so it is... shorter story... no love no glory... no hero in her sky...
i can't take my eyes off u, can't take my eyes off u, can't take my eyes of u...
anyway, went for my lasik check up today, and i'm an ok candidate to do the surgery. but and this is a big but, i can't do it the time i want! sigh.
i thought i cld do it during my break from the 3rd to the 9th of may, but apparently he only operates on certain days so there's no way i can do it. unless i do both eyes on thursday, but i don't think that's advisable.
SO, the nurse offered me to do it on monday. yes, THIS monday. now, that wld be perfect, cos i heard that the wait for the top head mama big man of SNEC can be weeks and months, but my exam are in 3 weeks and i can't afford to be out of action for a week. and wat happens if something goes wrong?! God forbid, but how then wld i even study, much less graduate?!
so it seems like i don't have much of a choice. I acutally told the nurse that i'll go through with the op on monday, but after talking over with it to pop and mum, and sleeping on it the whole day, i've decided to do it after i finish my attachment. and if *cross fingers* csfb actually offers me a full time position after the internship, then the lasik wld have to wait again.
now, the test results are only valid for 3 months. so that basically means that i've got to go for the test again! that's like another 5hrs at SNEC, and another $160. sigh. so wasted.
oh, but i just thought of something! now i can go for mambo on wed on the week that i finish my exams and can consider a short trip to phuket before i start work!! how cool is that?!!
as u can see, i'm trying to look on the bright side of things here. i am sad that the promise of 6/6 vision have to be shelved temporary again, but at least i know that i need to give my best for the next 3 weeks to make this not a wasted choice!
ok. study!
oh my gosh. do u guys miss mambo nights?
(yes, luyi, this post is for u!)
http://www.highlevel.blogspot.com/
this high level site shows u all the moves u need for mambo, well, the basic ones at least, so u don't have to look damn stupid blindly following all those pple on stage.
and there's music on the blog to move along to! wat are u waiting for?!!
MAMBO!~
