Thursday, March 31, 2005
woohoo. new skin!
had to change it cos it looked all funny on my mac, and since i'm going to gradually start moving all my stuff over and put my fujitsu to rest... i better changed it.
it's amazing how i'm so tired when i'm reading my notes, but the minute i switch on my comp and do mindless stuff, i'm so awake! haha...
had gym today. the new combat routine is super tough. it's really tiring and even though addy insists not shiok cos she didn't sweat, it was really tiring for me. and it's VERY high impact now. phew. tired.
studied abit of the IO, will do set of notes before i sleep. got an early day tom!
i'll be going down for my first initial eye check up for lasik, which explains why i've been in glasses for the past 2 weeks. yes, so unglam i know. how to face the world right? haha... jude walked past me today and he didn't even know it was me. oh thanks.
i hope everything goes well. i'm still deciding whether i shld scheldue my lasik before i start work or after... cos i only have like 5 days to rest before i start work if i do it immediately after my exams. hum... see what the doctor says first i guess.
sigh. the thought of getting my pupils dilated and seeing really bright lights for the whole day scares me. what if i go blind?! then will i never see u're face again? sigh... ponder ponder.
SA told me that cK jeans is opening on the 21st April and he's resigning on the 25th April. so that gives me 4 days to choose the stuff i want for him to buy for me. haha. best thing is that my first paper is on the 22nd and the next is on the 26th. so good. i'm going to study REALLY REALLY REALLY hard now and then i'll go out on the 23rd and get my cK stuff. hee.
yes, i'll study REALLY hard. yes. ok, back to studying i go then.
sigh
woohoo. new skin!
had to change it cos it looked all funny on my mac, and since i'm going to gradually start moving all my stuff over and put my fujitsu to rest... i better changed it.
it's amazing how i'm so tired when i'm reading my notes, but the minute i switch on my comp and do mindless stuff, i'm so awake! haha...
had gym today. the new combat routine is super tough. it's really tiring and even though addy insists not shiok cos she didn't sweat, it was really tiring for me. and it's VERY high impact now. phew. tired.
studied abit of the IO, will do set of notes before i sleep. got an early day tom!
i'll be going down for my first initial eye check up for lasik, which explains why i've been in glasses for the past 2 weeks. yes, so unglam i know. how to face the world right? haha... jude walked past me today and he didn't even know it was me. oh thanks.
i hope everything goes well. i'm still deciding whether i shld scheldue my lasik before i start work or after... cos i only have like 5 days to rest before i start work if i do it immediately after my exams. hum... see what the doctor says first i guess.
sigh. the thought of getting my pupils dilated and seeing really bright lights for the whole day scares me. what if i go blind?! then will i never see u're face again? sigh... ponder ponder.
SA told me that cK jeans is opening on the 21st April and he's resigning on the 25th April. so that gives me 4 days to choose the stuff i want for him to buy for me. haha. best thing is that my first paper is on the 22nd and the next is on the 26th. so good. i'm going to study REALLY REALLY REALLY hard now and then i'll go out on the 23rd and get my cK stuff. hee.
yes, i'll study REALLY hard. yes. ok, back to studying i go then.
sigh
i can't believe it!!! ah hong told me that there was this guy that asked this girl to be his gf during lecture, and got the lecturer in on the act!!!
hahaha... omg, it's so funny. and guess wat's the best part? it's all on webcast!!! hahaha...
the lecturer actually flashed a transparency and he asked her to be his gf?!!!
woah! give that man a tiger!
ok, 2nd post using my new mac. guess it's not so new now lar.
pete came over and for the whole day, we were studying. yes, we were. was helping him with his econs, both micro and macro. it seems that my micro stuff is still ok, cos i can remember my indifference curves and budget lines, but my macro all give back to gurpret ready... yucks. i can imagine returning him his stuff and he lifts his turban and puts it under.
haha. now that wld be funny.
anyway, had problems setting this thing up AGAIN. there seems to be a problem for me connecting to the internet using my airport card. grr. so i'm really wireless-less lar... haha... a-ha-ha
but all's good. my dad came home and fixed it for me AGAIN. i can tell that he's patience is wearing thin. hahaha... wat to do. i force pple to be more patient. see, i am a benefit to society
started studying for the exams today. started with IO and as much as i thought i knew everything, i don't!! the only consolation i get is that i am at least started, and i already got 35% out of 40% for my IO grade. now to tackle the remainding 60%. hopefully i'll study really really really hard and i'll get an A for it. end this sem with a bang. 4As.
woohoo. the 4As that i never had. haha...
ok, so i guess i shall have to stop all my other distractions. no more TV, no more mindless surfing, and definately stop procrestinating! it's time to shift gear!
ok, 2nd post using my new mac. guess it's not so new now lar.
pete came over and for the whole day, we were studying. yes, we were. was helping him with his econs, both micro and macro. it seems that my micro stuff is still ok, cos i can remember my indifference curves and budget lines, but my macro all give back to gurpret ready... yucks. i can imagine returning him his stuff and he lifts his turban and puts it under.
haha. now that wld be funny.
anyway, had problems setting this thing up AGAIN. there seems to be a problem for me connecting to the internet using my airport card. grr. so i'm really wireless-less lar... haha... a-ha-ha
but all's good. my dad came home and fixed it for me AGAIN. i can tell that he's patience is wearing thin. hahaha... wat to do. i force pple to be more patient. see, i am a benefit to society
started studying for the exams today. started with IO and as much as i thought i knew everything, i don't!! the only consolation i get is that i am at least started, and i already got 35% out of 40% for my IO grade. now to tackle the remainding 60%. hopefully i'll study really really really hard and i'll get an A for it. end this sem with a bang. 4As.
woohoo. the 4As that i never had. haha...
ok, so i guess i shall have to stop all my other distractions. no more TV, no more mindless surfing, and definitely stop procrastinating! it's time to shift gear!
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
first posting using my mac.
i honestly swear that my blood pressure has increased ever since getting this thing. it's like a bimbo u know, super pretty, but damn hard to use! ok, to be fair, i guess i'm just not used to a mac lar.
had to change my skin cos the other one looked funny in my mac, the alightments were all wrong and stuff. so it's back to the old one. no time to change a new one or go hunting, so i shall revert back to this.
waiting for peter to come over... supposed to teach him econs, but i don't think i can remember much man. hopefully i won't teach him the wrong things and make him more confused. haha... i have a tendency to do that man! gulp
oh! he's here! time to start work!
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
another earthquake?
and i'm alerted by it by andy, who lives in UK. he msg-ed and asked whether i was ok.
hum... why didn't i feel the quake? considering it's 8.2 on the scale. well... i guess pple in my estate don't really blink when we feel things vibrating... must be that neighbour again with his ferrai that's ramming along the slope up to his house.
either that or i'm too immune to the constant banging and vibrations coming from next door. i'm seriously living next to some psycho violent child beating neighbour man.
OR it cld just be that i was too engross in fixing my new apple powerbook. COOL!
it's a lovely 12" powerbook, and it's just, oh, so pretty.
maybe that's why i cldn't get connected for the longest time. maybe singtel outsourced the connection stuff to indon and things just got whacked up.
hum.
but my apple is lovely, and as much as i want to eat it, i'm just not too used to it, and still VERY attached to my 3yr fujitsu...
haha...
anyway, my prayers go out to all those affected by the most recent earthquake. seems like my plans to go phuket are shelved again.
lightening never strikes same place twice eh.
more like u'll never strike toto twice with the same numbers.
Monday, March 28, 2005
guess wat?
i'm studying in a world class institution.
NUS is the top 10th social science university in the world. http://newshub.nus.edu.sg/ke/0408/articles/pg03.htm
er...
if they only know the amt of sweat that goes into CORS is more than studying.
yea. top 10. like real.
Sunday, March 27, 2005
i acutally studied today... haha... cos there's a stupid RE test tom. crap.
i think it's a subconscious thing for me to "give up" after S/U-ing a module. i mean, what's the pt in studying for something that u're not going to get a grade for right.
but the dilema comes in the question, how much to study... study too much, and it's wasted effort, and study too little, u might fail. so how then?
sigh... i guess i'll just have to go at it like all the other subjects and work hard.
it's 4 more weeks to the finals and i'm not even gan jiong. i need someone to whack me and wake me up man... this is the last lap. the really last in my nus career (don't think i'm planning to do my masters in nus) and i can't even give it that extra effort. sigh.
slap me won't u.
i'm going out later to celebrate the end of exams with the medicine pple. they have finally finished 5 years of school, considering they pass, but of course i know that they will. and look at me, 3 years and i so badly want to get out.
tsktsk.
and i was surfing on zuji just now... how i wish i cld go bangkok or phuket or ANYWHERE after my exams just before i start work! but for 1, there's no time, and for 2, there's no one to go with!!! sob.
these are the times when i wish i had someone, someone to plan things with, someone to fulfil them with.
life's a bitch ain't it...
sigh.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
i am happy.
i brought my brother to church today for easter service and guess wat? he went up during the alter call!
i was so happy that i cried man. =)
jon was nice. he helped me with consolidation and all the crap man. haha... but i am, too happy for words.
praise God.
He died for me. it was my sins that nailed Him to the cross. i am unworthy, but he loves me.
He died for me.
Friday, March 25, 2005
too sexy?
Thursday, March 24, 2005
so yes, i woke up early today and went to the gym.
applaude won't u?
haha... but it feels really good, after not going for 2 weeks cos of my tooth. yes yes, excuses, but hey, it's a valid one ok!
there's something seriously wrong with my tooth, i keep tasting blood and it doesn't help that that shit soaked stuff that the doc stuffed into my mouth came out already. yes, and now it's back to hurting and throbbing pain. oh well.
anyway, there was bootcamp at 920 and combat at 1030. not too bad, i actually survived both! left early, as in didn't stay for the abs cos addy wanted to go back for lecture. yes! gym and school, how great is that?!! hahahaha...
i am good.
anyway, i can start to feel my joints and muscles aching now, and it's only the night...
u know i go for classes, and i'm in a while room of pple who are all so enthu and all so serious abt working out and i look at myself and i go... "yikes"
their bodies are all damn nice, all toned and lean and shit... but me?! yikes. i'm like this really really big round tire that pple find in the junkyards,
and even back in nk when i was swimming and doing weights and all, don't think i had a body that great. it was overtoned, too muscluar and i was black. yes, BLACK.
sigh.
when will i ever get that perfect body i'm dreaming abt? never it seems.
but there's another goal more pressing now.. it's 4 weeks till the exams and i'm still not in the studying mood. sigh. yes, as i told marcus, i need the grooveee... haha
it's like dancing u nknow, once u start, u just get into the momentum and u don't want to stop.
but then again, it's my last exmas, and i really really wanna do well for it!!! sigh sigh sob sob.
ok. better body, better grades. set
oh yes, and i'm having such a bad pimple outbreak!! help!!
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
ok, the pain ain't so bad now... and well, i am getting used to that taste in my mouth. luckily i don't have anyone now to kiss kiss.
anyway, the doc said that i shld be losing my appetite cos the taste is so bad, but u know wat, it's the reverse! damn it.
the taste is so bad that i constantly want to put food in my mouth to mask the horrid taste of the shit stuff he put inside. so that's not good.
i drove out to macs to buy that chicken foldover thing in the middle of the night... haha... ok, i didn't just go out and buy food, but i went back to school to get my accounting notes from estella. so just thought i'll drop into kap and get some food. hee.
the chicken foldover is REALLY REALLY good. but abit ex though... but that's as close to being as healthy as i can get in macs. not too shabby... tastes healthy and pretty good.
anything is better than that shit medicine in my mouth.
anyway, i'll be going later to some networking social event. no it's not speed dating, but it's one of those recruitment drives which they invite the top students of nus. how cool is that? i'm considered the top in nus. haha....
(this is utter bullshit, i just slept with someone working in the career centre and rigged it)
haha... gotya again.
got in through being part of the swim team for the last 3 years, so woohoo. it's like top brains and brawns. i totally lose out in the brains sector. unless my brain grows on my stomach. then yea, i win.
and i've been wearing my specs for the past week, going for the lasik checkup next fri, so i'm stuck with the glasses till then! bleh. i think i look so nerdy and all... but that wld be good for tonights event right. i'll fit in with the brains so well... haha...
dinner with vic later too. i hope she just doesn't go on and on abt seytian. pls kill me then. as if having a bad tooth ain't enough. sigh... poor girl... poor us... loving someone really hurts that much eh.
unreturned love is not lost love. it's just misplaced.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
so yes, i'm in so much pain, pls kill me now
my tooth or rather the ex-tooth has been extracted, and it seems like it was SO big, and the root was hooked that it left such a big void in my gums.
and there's been some prob with my blood clotting and the gums growing back to fill the space... anyway, cut the long story short, i'm basically fucked up. even my tooth can't escape how fucked up i am.
so basically the dentist puts this coconut fibre looking thing that's soaked with some anti-septic shit and stuffs it into the hole in my gums.
it tastes like crap!! and it's going to taste like that for a whole 5 days! yes. 5 freaking days!
fuck.
and i'm in so much pain!!!... he was poking around with his sharp sharp thing-a-ma-gic... and stuffing that shit soaked stuff in. ouch!!!
it's not funny.
and the headaches are still coming.
someboday kill me now pls.
Monday, March 21, 2005
i went down to yih to get something from my foot. it has this weird rash that has been there ever since i went for my pedicure during cny! gosh. it's that long huh.
anyway, since i was at the doc, i asked her abt my wisdom tooth and she gave me some antibiotics and some painkillers. i tell u, i've got so much pills now, it's amazing. yes, i can drug myself and prob go into convulsions or something.
and SINCE i was there, i decided to test out what i heard abt yih docs. i asked her abt the morning after pill cos i heard that yih actually gives out durex and prescriptions for morning after pill.
as if her face cldn't scrounge up anymore after looking at my fungi infected toe(yes, the big one), it scronged up even more. and her eyebrows immediately raised in that, "oh, so you're that kind".
"i'm sorry, i'm pro-life"
like i'm not?!! hello?!! wtf man... anyway, it was amusing lar, considering i wasn't in the situation that i actaully needed it. haha... imagine if i needed it there and then, i might have just gone, "pls lar, pls" (yes, in that tone)
and she continued lecturing me as i walked towards the door, it really honestly didn't stop. haha... she just went on and on abt how it's an abortion in the early stages and blah blah blah and one day, yes, ONE DAY when my conscience becomes sharper, i might regret it.
er, ok. when that happens, i'll leave u a memo.
i never had a good impression of yih docs. i never go to them unless it's something really tival like yes, a fungi infected toe, or a flu jab, or something that doesn't need a dianosis. i don't really trust them. after all, if it's good enough for the prcs, it ain't good enough for me.
i am rather racist and elitist here, but who likes foreign talent raise ur hands? for one, the prc-s don't shave, they have bad breadth and they speak cheena-piang chinese. i speak singaporean chinese.
it's funny that even though i'm chinese as well, i think i'm better than them. segregation among the commoners eh. interesting.
ok, i have a trobbing headache made from my tooth. or the void that's left by it. haha... going back to the doc tom to see whether it's infected. bleh.
i just hate all kinds of doctors. =( pain
Sunday, March 20, 2005
i realised that i'm a cynical bitch.
i can find so many things to complain abt, so many pple that i don't agree with, and just so many reasons to be unhappy. and i wonder why i have no friends.
i am very negative, and sometimes i feel that i rub that effect off some of my more positive friends.
maybe i'm just pms-ing now, but i think it has more to do with my tooth, or my ex-tooth. let's just say that we had a pretty bad break up. the gum area is giving me problems now, and i think it might have been infected.
isn't the gums the worst place to have an infection? you can't talk properly for one, and for another, how can the wound heal when that area is forever wet? and then since u can't open ur mouth, u have the most awful bad breath ever, it's like giving those prc-s a run for their money.
anyway, the tooth is really giving me alot of problems, and it's funny, cos even though i've extracted it, it's causing me more pain than before. it's like real life problems huh... the repercussions are more serious that the actual act itself.
come to think of it, i do find myself in those kind of situations more often than not. that's usually when i'm intoxicated, but i do make rather horrible decisions. these are the kind that will come back and bite u in the behind kind. yes. it's like sitting on salt water with an open wound. yea,. woah mama pain.
i guess i cld try to be less cynical and be more happy. that wld make everyone better off eh. haha... but who cares? i only care abt myself, as do all the people in the world, except maybe some saints and mj(he wants to heal the world. give him credit lar)...
so yes, i'm a selfish, cynical bitch.
how nice.
and this selfish, cynical and whining bitch has a massive headache!!! oh... kill me now, pls pls pls
Saturday, March 19, 2005
i just came back from serene's wedding.
it was simple in my opinion, and rather informal... i guess it was a very personal kind of wedding... which spoke to serene and chris. i mean, that's what that matters right, it was their wedding after all.
i somehow enjoyed just catching up with everyone, and guess that i had a rather grumpy look on my face cos no one wanted to approach me. haha... guess i'm just pms-ing lar. haha... which is weird... didn't that just end?!! but, having is always better than missing it!! haha... *cheeky grin*
everyone on serene's side wore pink. we kinda arranged it, so that we'll kind of be uniformed, and i just didn't have anything pink to wear! so i ended wearing the pink hk dress that i bought for rachel's wedding years ago! gulp! it has frills and it was flowery and all... so not me!! i had so many comments abt how it doesn't suit me and all...
oh well... at least someone said i slimed down!! haha... yea yea yea... small talk conversation only. haha... actually it was more like, "wah, can fit into ur 5-yr old dress ar?!!"
hang out with walter and soon ann after the wedding, ponged service. haha... i'm such a slacker i know. but i regretted missing the service afterwards, cos i heard that the message was pretty revalent to me! damn.
oh well. better luck next time.
anyway, i am rather in a pissy mood. no mood to study and yet am so tired. haha... i'll go do some readings or something i guess. grr...
a-jies
deb and i. yes, it's a pink dress. all the girls had to wear pink!
the girls! angie, rui, deb, me
the illegals
serene's girls. i'm somewhere in the centre of the last row. if u can find me...
Friday, March 18, 2005
i rushed to school after spending a day out with alex, and handed in my geo project at 1759.
*phew*
it's over, no more midterms, no more projects. and that's it, i can finally get some sleep! the past 2 weeks have been hectic, with so many midterms and projects and term papers to hand up... but yes, it's finally over.
i slept on the bus back, i was just so tired!! and this is from a person who doesn't sleep easily. haha... i'm just deprived eh.
and i just realised something.
that's it. my last project in nus. my last midterm in a freezing LT. that's it. no more school in 5 weeks, no more tutorials, no more morning lectures... no more squeezing on 151. gee... i really think 10 years from now, 151 will still be non-aircon and filled to the brim with undergrads taking from toa payoh, to bukit timah, to clementi and to kent ridge.
no more wearing t-shirt and shorts to school. hey, i've progressed from wearing flip flops to school ready... i now wear very expensive slippers. damn it. no more waking up late at 0930 and taking a cab to school, only to reach earlier than if i had taken 151.
sigh. this really marks a kinda new beginning for me. it's funny, i never had any strong feelings of attachment to school, but it just feels weird that the prospect of leaving nus in the next 5 weeks is drawing so near. i was always the one leaving my comfort zone, always leaving to be in a place were i know no one, forced to mingle and meet new pple... so i guess i'm indifferent?
i don't know.
maybe i'll start feeling more once i'm sitting for my last exam, writting my name and matric number for the last ever time......
Thursday, March 17, 2005
i am seriously abt to explode.
my project mates are utter idiots. i've got nothing to say man. this idiot is complaing to me after all the work that i've done and why? cos he says that the way i do my bibliography is wrong. WTF.
and what was his reason? cos he said that a bibliography written for an arts mod is diff from a social science mod... and i was like, "yea, but i've been doing this for my econs essays for my whole nus life" and u're telling me, YOU BLOODY FRESHIE, TELLING A YR 3 that she's wrong?
he was like, "yea, but geo ain't a social science. geo's an arts mod."
fuck off lar. geo is a social science. i checked the arts guidebook. MORON. urgh. and this asshole wants to major in geo somemore. pls. kill me now. kill me pls.
so anyway, he's busily editing the bibliography cos he says the way i do it is too bare. urgh. if i'm going to say fuck one more time i think this might be my record number of fuck in one post. URGH.
i am soooooo pissed. why am i stuck with idiots for project mates? why oh why? wat have i ever done wrong?!! wahhhh.....
and i can't go and sleep yet cos i'm waiting for him to be done with it. cos why? cos i'm printing it out. damn it. guys are just assholes to work with man.
i hate project work. honestly. i rather work alone... maybe i'm so stubborn that i want things done my way, but i don't see what's wrong with that, considering my way's the best.
rule #1: i'm always right
rule #2: in event of dispute, refer to rule #1
haha. how ego right.
but it's the truth.
new skin!! pls comment!
yea, i know i'm bored, but hey, i suddenly have free time on my hands!! woohoo!
i have finally finished my projects.
*applause* oh come on, humour me won't u?
anyway, today i had my RE project presentation... as i said, i'm dumb and junhao was blind, but i think we pulled it off rather well. we met at 830 at macs for breakfast, and just ran through our project presentation for abit... i arrived at like 9 and that's after taking a cab cos i just didn't want to get out of bed.
was up the whole night trying to finish my geo report... but i ended up talking to andy for like 2+ hours? it's amazing how advance technology is nowadays... and to think that i could talk to him while he's in london and i'm in s'pore... for free?!! how cool is that? anyway, it was really nice talking to him, though it was hard to talk considering i cld only open my mouth wide enough to pass a straw through. yes, i slurped up my porriage dinner.
anyway, i just love andy's voice... and it was such a hard decision to make... compete my geo report or talk to andy... haha... oh well... i was nicely rewarded by the delightful conversation that i had, and have i said wat a turn on his accent is? oh yea.... it was pretty funny when he tried to jack me using his humour, (yikes, londoners... chey) and feel short of being funny... or at least my lousy singaporean humour didn't cut it eh. but yea... andy's a great bloke to talk to... and he's coming to s'pore in the summer!! woohoo!
and get this... he sang for me!! hahahha... i'm really really attracted to musically inclined people, not pple that can pla mozart or something, but like, just musically talented and have a great voice. he kinda sounds like renyi when he sang, and that brought back a flood of memories. sigh. but nonetheless, andy has a great voice and i wished he sang more, but oh well... apparently i'm not deserving or special enough... =(
(andy - i bet u're head is so swelled that u can just float around the whole day eh... see, i give u the same effect that weed has! haha...)
yea, so i got to bed around 4+ last night and woke up really early this morn for project meeting. yawn. don't think i'll go down to the gym for combat today... my excuse is that i'm afraid i might tear my wisdom tooth wound, but it's more like i'm lazy and need my sleep.
so yes, i've finally finished my geo report... finished the editing and paragrahing... honestly, my group members can be such a drag... the 2 goondus did the same part! crap... left me to pick up the pieces and string everything together. urgh.
but yea, the only reason why i volunteered to do all these was cos i didn't have the time to finish my report by last week, so as usual, i always volunteer to edit. i kinda like the control that comes with having the final say of wat makes the cut and of course, i never trust anyone else's english. yes, i'm a horrid stuck up kang tang, but hey, this is a graded mod for me ok!
oh yea, can u believe that kc msg-ed me the other day out of his own initiative? i was surprised man... even though it was a short conversation, it meant alot... he's the only guy that can send tingles down my spine and cause that funny feeling in my tummy. sigh... i really need to get a life huh... haha... yes yes, stop rolling ur eyes. i know alot of u want to beat him up... well, all i can say is join the queue! haha...
so yes, now that i've finished my reports, i think i'm going to catch up on my webcasts. haha... no life right. i'm such a mugger i can't stand myself!! haha
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
i'm busy rushing my 2 projects... both are due this week... sigh... at least we finally finished the RE project, and well... one of my group members who was supposed to present just did lasik, so he's blind... and i just took out my wisdom tooth so i can't open my mouth, ie dumb.
ok, so who wants to be deaf now?
anyway, i took out my wisdom tooth not cos it was hurting, but cos i kept on biting into my gums that it just irritated the hell out of me... actually, i wanted to back out of the procedure the minute i sat into the dentist chair. i'm not sure whether the dental nurse smelt my fear, because she came over and gave me a huge big stuff toy to hold.
i was like, "er... i don't think xiao ting dang can help much..."
anyway. u know it's a weird thing, but when u close ur eyes, ur other senses actually become sharper. so there i was, eyes closed sitting on the chair, and suddenly, i have batman ears.
every single grunt that the dentist made, every single missed chipping sound that i heard, made me imagine the worst. i kinda had the premonision that he wld not be able to pull he whole tooth out, and there wld be bits of the roots still dislodged inside.
ouch. yea, repeat after me, ouch.
apparently, i have a stubborn tooth. and i wasn't imagining it because he told me so! he said that my tooth root was curved, so it was harder to pull out. and he was really using alot of force ok. first me tried sitting down and pulling, and then i think he decided to stand up and pull. now that was like, "wat?!! is it never going to come out?"
and when someone is pulling u, u will obviously move in that direction right. well, i kinda expected the dental chair to suddenly come out straps and chain me to the chair ala futurerama, but nah... the dental nurse just held my head down. and when i said held, i mean pressed REALLY REALLY hard.
oh well.
finally it came out... not that i cld feel a thing, but i saw the tooth and it was huge... it's like "ur mama so phat" kind of huge... the dr kept on asking me to keep the tooth and show my mum and i was like, the tooth fairy has retired, unless some of u guys remember an episode from southpark when cartman was a toothfairy... hahahaha...
anyway, yes, he was pretty admant abt taking the tooth back and all... so i was like, "if u're so interested, u can have it... my gift to u..." haha... that cracked him up, but no, he just threw the tooth away.
oh well.
and it was a huge ass tooth with blood spots still attached to it. yucks.
ok, back to vetting my geo project. my project mates ar... screwed up the order of the things and now it's up to me, ms contingent plan to fix everything! crap. actually it's cos i've not done my part yet!! SSsssSS... don't tell them k. i'm supposed to get it out by tonight! crap.
burn night oil lor. sigh
Monday, March 14, 2005
ok, i'm not sure if i said this, but i'm busy with a geo project. my project is McDonalds in S'pore.
and i found this on the net which is really really really funny. go take a look.
http://www.cymok.com/McD-Singpore-vs-Japan.html
on a side note, today i went down to KAP to take pictures for my project and got stopped by an auntie. NO, it's not auntie helen, the nice macs auntie which have been there since the beginning of time... or rather, since my mg days.
ok, maybe she was the floor manager or something. but who cares. i was pissed, and i was angry, cos i needed the damn photos! shit... anyway, she insisted that i deleted them and i refused. haha... no more 24hr drive through macs for me. shit.
back to auntie helen... she was the nicest man... in the dumb way... haha... remember there was a winnie the pooh promotion at macs. i used to be crazy over those stuff... (hey, some pple like cats, i like shit, can?!! haha) i remember the week when they were selling eeyor...
me: "filet o fish meal, with eeyor pls"
auntie helen on mike to kitchen: "fish meal and donkey pls"
right.
good old auntie helen
FUCK!
i just found out the starting pay for barclays ops. $4k.
WTMF. M-mother
shit... damn it, why don't they want me?!! urgh. cock-a-nathan.
I'm so pissed!!!
Sunday, March 13, 2005
just came back from dinner with my parents... ok, as ren wld know, we never go out and eat on sun night cos of pop's golf... but today we went to hikaru, the jap place at king's arcarde to celebrate my parent's 24th wedding anniversary.
i've never been with a guy longer than 4 months and here there is a testimony of a couple who can make it 24 yrs? shit. i shld be ashamed. haha...
anyway, after the really crappy vegetarian dinner i had last night, we really ate alot man. cows, pigs, chicken, fish... we spared no animal man. ate all, ate everything! haha...
ren... don't worry, we'll go again when u get back. the place ain't that bad. and just for u, here's some photos of what u're missing... haha...
the happy couple!!
alex and i
i'm still having problems sleeping... sigh.... and this despite the fact that i ran to 6 ave and back. yes, pant pant. almost died, but was too lazy to go to the gym...
anyway, my friend's msn nick is:
"life is the 1st gift, love 2nd and understang 3rd"... and then he later changed it to
"love is when you don't want to go to sleep cos reality is better than a dream"...
sigh... why is he so happy when i'm so sad?! why has he been able to move forward and find love while i'm still stuck in the past and clinging on to things that can never be?
bleh.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
i'm having problems sleeping at night. been contemplating taking sleeping pills, but i really don't think that's a gd idea. besides, then i wld have to go and get a prescriptions, and then u know the idiot doc will just squint and look at me and wonder whether i have any suicidal tendencies.
oh well.
i think it's cos i have too many things going on in my mind at this pt of time. i shut all my thoughts out of my brain when i'm doing work, that means when i'm studying or i'm trying to think anayltically (yea, when does that EVER happen right)... but the minute i lie down on my bed and want to sleep, then the thoughts just come.
the thoughts come fast and furious, as if rebelling that i pushed it to the back of my mind. it's all ramdom thoughts, and i can suddenly switch topics without even linking the past and the present one. maybe that's the kind of person i am. i am a confused, messed up kind.
i only think abt these things before i go to bed. maybe that's the time when my mind is empty, and then the thoughts can come in. maybe i am going crazy.
maybe i'm becoming the next john nash, less the nobel prize of course... maybe i live in 2 seperate lives, one in my fantasy, and the other wat i think reality is... of course, living in reality is totally not an option for me. i'll go mad.
living in reality wld mean facing up to things that i've done, things that i cldn't do, and things that pple have done to me. i built walls around myself not to get hurt, fantasies to live in so that i won't go out of my mind, and habits, just to make each day easy to pass by.
or maybe i'm ally mcbeal. minus the anorexia (d'uh!) and the dancing babies. my biological clock ain't ticking that fast.
sigh. maybe i'm just living a dream... and one day i'll wake up and find myself a secret agent for the govt trying to crack codes using my mathemtical formulas... or maybe i'm actually a vampire slayer, and i've got angel as my bf... david borenaz... *drools*
or maybe i'm just plain out of my mind.
today was fun... in a weird way.
this was the longest time i've ever spent with him alone, and of course the longest and most meaningful conversation that we had.
it's amazing, but i felt like i could tell him everything. and before i knew it, i told him everything... my past, my problems, almost everything! it was of course a two way exchange, and i was really feeling very comfortable with him.
i can't believe that this was the same guy that i used to like in yr 2. this was the same guy that i used to think abt alot, finding excuses to sms/call him and just talk to him... and it was of course the same guy that showed absolute no interest... it was his nonchalent attitude that made me want him more... it's like u always want something that u can't get. yes, the forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest...
i always thought i wasn't his type. i wasn't tall enough, or i wasn't thin enough... or he just didn't find me attractive enough... i did flirt with him in zouk or at clubs, but stopped short of actually telling him my true feelings. after a while, i just took it that he wasn't interested and left it at that.
but i never did tell him that i used to like him, or anything close to that remark... and just last week, he told me why. why he never liked me, or why he cldn't like me. it wasn't that he didn't like the things that i had, it was that he liked things that i didn't have.
that was his preference. and i was speechless. he told me when we were on the bus, sitting next to each other and making fun of each other. just poking fun at each other. it was just a casual remark... something that if i wasn't listening closely enough, i wld have missed it.
it took me a while to get it. and as the words started to sink in and make sense, i realised my mouth was wide open and i was just staring at him. not too good huh. i mean, what do u, or what can u respond to the guy that u used to like when he says to u,
"oh, by the way, i'm gay"
what can u actually say?!
now i know why he never responded to my advances. i don't know whether i shld be happy because he cldn't like and not that he didn't like me. i guess i just didn't have wat it takes to make him O so happy.
it's weird, but now that i know he's gay, we're much more open to each other, we talk abt more candid things and of course, exchange trade secrets. haha... and he has alot of secrets!! haha...
if u're reading this and wondering how come i never knew he was gay... i'm not stupid ok. he's not obvious. and besides, he just stepped out last year... and he intro-ed his bf to me today. now, if i met his bf, and didn't think he was gay, THEN u can call me stupid. but my friend... nah, it's not obvious.
anyway, we did have a short conversation on religion vs sexuality... and of course, what can u say to a gay guy? it's not that he doesn't have a religion... we were both brought up with the same beliefs... and he has given up on God. now, how are u supposed to respond to that?!
i think it's a very personal thing, and i just left it at that... didn't want to go all preachy... i'm not that holy myself.
oh well... today was fun lar... had great company and went shopping. finally got that mango bag and top that i've been trying to find all over the place. FINALLY. oh, and i cldn't resist, but i gave into temptation and got that ferragamo wallet. somebody slap me pls!
haha... ok. had a rather eventful week. it's really been fun. =)
Thursday, March 10, 2005
March 10, 2005
Former C&C boss Chua Boon Peng dies at age 89
by Christopher Tan
THE man who secured the lucrative Mercedes-Benz franchise for local dealership Cycle & Carriage (C&C) more than 50 years ago, Mr Chua Boon Peng, died last week at age 89.
Mr Chua had been wheelchair-bound for the past few years, said his son Humphrey, 58. He died in Gleneagles Hospital last Friday.
'He was alert, but when he stopped walking in the last few years, he deteriorated,' said the younger Mr Chua. 'It's just old age.'
It was Boon Peng who clinched the Mercedes-Benz sole distributorship in 1951 for what was then Malaya, awarded by Germany's Daimler-Benz.
At that time C&C was a smallish company owned by the Chua family and Boon Peng was a thirty-something executive assisting his father and uncles.
And amazing as it may seem to Singaporeans now, the Mercedes brand was relatively unknown in these parts back then.
Yet Boon Peng could see the potential - as could others. Indeed, representatives from a keen competitor, Wearnes Brothers, were on the same train as him when he went to meet the Germans in London more than 50 years ago.
His father, Mr Chua Cheng Liat (whom Liat Towers in Orchard Road was named after), was anxious. In the book, 1899-1999: The Cycle & Carriage Century, Boon Peng's younger brother, the late Mr Chua Boon Unn, recalled: 'My father asked him, 'What can we do to make sure that we get this deal?'
'This chap thought about it. It was a close fight. Then he told my father, 'Just place an order. Even if you have no buyers yet, just do it'.
'And my father did. He ordered six cars and we got the franchise.'
It took a while before the cars were sold. Mr Chua Cheng Liat started the ball rolling by buying one himself. Two taxi companies followed (the cars were diesel models), and the rest, as they say, is history.
'My father was a man of vision,' Humphrey told The Straits Times.
'He was a gentleman, exceptionally kind and selfless, always thinking about others.'
He was also 'a loyal Singaporean' who served on many civic committees, including one which transformed Orchard Road - which had a big open canal running through it - into a modern shopping and tourist belt.
He was a member of Club 200 (an association of foreign envoys here), Pyramid Club (formed in 1963 for key decision-makers from the public and private sector), and the Goethe Institute, his son said.
'He was a very good father who taught us many things and showed us the world,' said Humphrey, who was once general manager of bus company Tibs, but has since retired.
Boon Peng was the last surviving member of the family to run C&C before it lost control of the company because of other failed interests.
His brother, Thomas, the family's last managing director there, died in 2002 at 68.
IP Address:219.74.244.186
new blogskin. comments pls
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
i nicked myself today. DAMN IT. urgh. it hurts!! wah...
anyway, don't u just hate waiting? apparently shawn has had a rejection email from ubs and i've got none!! now is that good or bad? i sent an email to that same bugger but he hasn't replied me. WAHAHHHHH
i hate waiting.
oh a lighter note, my midterms are finally over, now to my projects. but i'm so damn bloody tired i'll just take a nap first. yawn
night night
Monday, March 07, 2005
3 nails + 1 cross = 4given
i know that. i've seen it b4. but seeing it as his msn nick?!
i didn't expect him to be that kind of person, does he believe in JC?! if he does, of course i'll be delighted, but then again... is this just a recent thing or something that has been going on for a really long time?
who am i to judge him anyway, i'm so unholy in the sight of god that i wld prob just light up in flames and burn in hell... but it's funny right, i judge him on the principles that i set for myself, and yet, when it comes to critizing myself, i made excuses and i go round my morals.
oh well, guess there will always be double standards in the world eh?
~*~
oh a side note, i totally feel like packing up and going on a really long holiday. yes, i know i just came back from one, but i would really really like to just get up and go away somewhere... states... aussie... hk... europe... shit, i just want to enjoy life man. and i really really have a midterm tom and i'm just not studying. shit shit shit
oh, and i've made an appointment with my eye doc to do lasik. 1st april, oh what a joke! haha... and next wed's appointment with my dentist to pull out my wisdom tooth. urgh. and wat else ar.... oh yea,
after much debating, i've accepted the risk measurement and management position at csfb. i interviewed with all 3 desks and all 3 desks wants me. oh how nice. haha... shit lar, they just want me for an intern and not the real deal. shit. but hopefully, i'll wow them with my stella personality and they'll be blinded by my halo flurencent light that i emit and offer me a full time position, or a contact one at least.... aiyoh.
ok, it's 10.19pm now. i really need to go study for the shit labour midterm tom. urgh. so tired and still need to study. shit shit.
but that's my fault cos i watched the 70's show and the 9pm chinese show. hahahahhahaha... i'm such a pig
Sunday, March 06, 2005
A dream man is not someone with telepathy powers so he can buy me flowers without me asking him to, or knowing when I have PMS before I scream at him.
A dream man is someone who takes the effort to find out what I'm thinking and will lead if required to make a decision. (don't we all hate wimpy guys who can't make up their minds on where to eat??!!)
He is also one to take responsibility for things that he does, and will own up to his own mistakes.
He has to be humourous and slightly romantic, not some Romeo kind, but Adam Sandler romantic is good enough for me. haha.
I'm still looking for this dream man, know anyone who fits this description?
i'm supposed to be doing work! someone kill me pls! it all started yesterday when i was just abt to get off the comp to study for my labour midterm when kc came online and we started chatting. this went on for really abit and by the time it was over, i just had no more mood to study.
and luyi and i started talking abt other pple's blogs. i've never read stranger's blogs b4, i mean, what's the pt of finding out what is happening in other pple's lives when i can't even keep straight what is happening in my friends' lives right.
but anyway, i am somewhat hooked onto a few blogs, and the one that i'm really impressed with is sarong party girl's blog. oh my gosh. it's really, really good.
the way she writes is really er, different, and i'm not so sure wat i'm hooked on, her style of writing, or her content itself.
she has by far been the most intellectual spg that i know, not that i know many of course. but seriously, the things she writes abt and the books that she reads... shit, i feel really dumb and bimbotic compared to her.
as for her style of writing, it's narative kind, but i guess her candid-ness and her perspective of things are so real that u just want to continue reading. now, i've read xiaxue's blog and i frankly don't understand why there's such a big whoo-ha abt it. firstly, i think she's rather crude, which is pretty unbecoming for such a pretty girl. yes, she is attractive...in that ah lian kind of way. but i don't think that all those vulgarities shld be coming from her.
it's funny u know... cos i read mr brown, mr miyagi, eddy neo's blogs and they are sort of like a community... they have formed their own online blogging community... amazing how we adapt and form communities on all sorts of levels as we follow the times.
ok, IO test tom and labour midterm on tues. guess i really have to start studying.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
it was pretty nice talking to him over msn. our first actual msn conversation if u must. but soon, there was only one reason he msn, and i gave him the answer that he wanted.
i did think of lying to him and make him panic, but i thought that might have been a tad bit too cruel considering of his most recent lost.
but right now, i am picking a fight with him, over the things i heard him say that were untrue. urgh. he's such a moron. really.
my feelings for him have died some what. i realised that the kc i feel in love with, was the person he was when we were 16, and now that we're 22, it's diff. he's changed, but somehow i didn't up the updated version in my head.
oh well, i am slamming him now, and guess wat, he's not answering. wat a kc thing to do. disappear from the situation. he's like that idiot who steals bells and covers his ears. sigh. wat am i going to do with u?
i blocked him from my msn list, i erased his hp number from my phone. now, working on erasing him from my life. totally.
got to start somewhere right
my mum told me that his grandfather passed away. yes, she reads the orbituaries, and for her to actually read his name under "grandsons", i guess i must give her some credit. i guess wat gave it away was the other orbituary submitted by jardin cycle and carriage.
oh well.
i'm not sure whether he'll be flying back for the funeral, given that he just flew back on the 1st. it happened in the exact same week. how suay is that.
i don't have his aussi number, and his s'pore number is not in use... he has blocked me from his msn(oh wait, he didn't!!!!!!) he just msn-ed me?!!!!!
SURPRISE!
i went out with the nus hell gang last night.
it's been a long time since we all hung out... ever since yr 1, i've not been hanging much with them outside of the canteen. kinda felt that i sort of didn't fit in, me not speaking any hokkien at all. oh well.
but it was fun. we had steamboat at bugis. "happy pay steamboat"... my take on the place? don't go there. the service was horrible, they sqeezed 9 of us onto one small table... i guess it was the cram united feeling they wanted to achieve.
for a while i actually felt like an ah lian. listening to kev talk, and replying in the same tone that he talks to me in, i am starting to feel more and more pai. haha...
i know that this is a bunch of people that are fun to hang out with, but they're really different... i speak english, u speak chinglish. i say potato, u say kang tang. u get the drift.
but i really enjoyed hanging out with them. pple my age, talking abt school, psychotic gfs... it suddenly dawned on me that i was missing out on realy uni fun all these while. what was i doing hanging out with 30+ older men from work? i need pple my age to hang out with, to talk abt the things i'm interested in, and not how long or short i am (positions! don't think dirty)
oh well. i've got 6 more weeks till the end of uni. make every week count.
Friday, March 04, 2005
sigh. i didn't get through barclays. wahhhhhh...
oh well, ever the back office doesn't want me, where can i go?!! oh no. sob. this is really really not good man.
nmind, when God closes one door, another door opens...right? i hope so. sigh.
ok, no more blogging abt it, no more bitching abt it, get over it.
got labour assignment due at 5pm and well, i've only got 1 question answered... 2 more to go.
pre-mambo drinks at O bar, we 4 had so much fun man!
yes yes too much drinks
babby and i!!! we are obviously so red.... testiment to how much we drank!
the 4 girls!! we were crazy man. downing drinks like man. look at that spoiler in red!
deb, addy and i
Thursday, March 03, 2005
i wondered why gao's nick was "days of yore"... and then after seeing kamil's nic, "the best is yet to be, happy birthday ACS", i suddenly remembered.
not that it means anything to me. spending only 3 months in AC singing the school song, (in days of york...1,2,sing) it doesn't really pull a tug. so wat if i spent 4 years in MG? didn't really feel very sisterly... not counting the various meetings at KAPs of course.
anyway, my bro is applying to acjc after the Os results came out and he asked me how the school was like. hum... it was dirty, it was dark, there were holes in the classrooms and i could wave from SB4 to SB3 and SB5. i sat at wooden tables and chairs that had graffiti since 1960s, and the chalk board was horrible to the ears, and the dust just circulated in the aircon room.
but despite all that, ac felt like home, it was nice to walk every 2 steps and see a familiar face, whether it was a sailormoon outfit, or a baggy pants that started at the knees.
i never stopped to think abt how the others wld feel. there were people in white and blue, and there were THE OTHERS. the minority of them were just so insignificant to me that i threw all of them into one big category, and cast them out of my mind. there were all white, green and white, green and white dots, white and purple, baby blue... short pants, long pants, tights, who cares... they just wasn't wearing white and blue.
so now i'm thinking whether my brother will fit in. given that he is a big potatoe, or a banana, i'm sure he'll fit in that way... culture wise... i'm sure being in a family of an AC boy and MG girl has rubbed some influence off him. so i do hope that he'll get in and mix with the correct crowd.
oh course, i will warn him not to sit at the ruggers table on the first day. that's like social suicide. or to get in the bad books of any pia kia's that are hiding at the nearby hdb blocks smoking. (i'm not sure where the smokers go nowadays, they used to hide behing the container classrooms, but there are no more containers)
yes, i will give him a run down of things to do, and the more impt things NOT to do.
i hated NJ after coming from AC. perhaphs it was more of simulating into an environment where everyone has already known each other. hum... maybe it was that consellor that went, "huang ying huang ying."
oh well. i will draw up a list soon of no-nos for him.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
i hate waiting!
the wait is killing me
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
I'M AM SO ANGRY I AM ABT TO EXPLODE
have u ever been so angry that u can't think straight? that u can feel ur hand tremble and shake as u search for words to describe ur anger, but there's no way to do it??!!
i heard some stuff today and it made my explode. and it didn't help that i was on a bus and cldn't scream "fuck off" at the top of my voice.
i mean, i cld but then i'll have to get off at the next stop or something.
urgh.
whatever i heard today, cannot be further from the truth.
i'm so angry...
