Friday, August 10, 2007
Je te present Mrs Pham
On the fourth day of August, in the year 2007
In front of my family and my friends
I marry my best friend, my partner and my love.
You've stood by me when times where tough
You believed in me when I didn't
and You loved me when I was fat and poor.
Our lives start from today.
Je t'taime tout le jour, pour ma vie
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Closure
You know those moments in a restaurant, where you look at the menu and can't decide what to order? You make a decision, only to change it immediately when the waiter comes to take your order?
Yea, I'm talking about those moments.
The grass is always greener on the other side. Human nature to want what you can't have and be unsatisfied once you obtain it.
I have in the past year obtained everything I've ever wanted. I've got a marriage proposal from the man of my life, a job that I've worked towards since year 2 in uni, and many other mindless materialistic things I had on my "want" list. And now that I've achieved them, what's left?
What's left to live for once you obtained all you ever wanted? Live to sustain or live for sustaining?
Make new plans I guess. Right now, everything that I could ever want is material, a nice house, a fancy car, being MD at 35... all material. I could want a family of my own, but I am not ready. So... for the next 2-3 years, what should I live for?
I am ready to settle down, but I am settling. I've embraced the nagging thought of "what-ifs" and am willing to settle. Rather than taking the risk of never crossing the river, I'll rather not miss the boat. It is a good, steady, sturdy boat which will not let me down, but the ride on the river would not be exciting anymore. No more surprises, excitment along the way.
I've traded it all in for familiarity, for comfort, for assurance.
I've made my choice. I just have to stick to it despite the doubts, the distractions, the instinct to flee.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Consequences
The forbidden fruit? Yea, it really tastes that good.
Not that I tasted it of course... but yea...
How am I supposed to feel, 6 weeks more to my new life? The moment I say "I do", Ms T Goh dies and I become Mrs T Pham. PHARK!
My mum told me today that I am so not ready to get married. She said I still want to party and have fun. Mum knows best huh? I think I am not ready... and 6 weeks is not enough.
How colder can my feet get?
Anyone wants to watch Runaway Bride with me?!!
Monday, June 11, 2007
Threesome
7 more weeks to go and I must admit, I am getting cold feet. It doesn't help that every single person that I meet are asking about wedding preparations, the big day, how I feel blah blah blah. It's just so taxing and stressful considering we're not totally planned out every single detail.
I have been partying alot recently... Started with when the bf was in Paris, and it just continued when everyone's birthday and parties... sigh. Am I ready to give up my youthful partying carefree days for a lifetime commitment?
Met the girls from 4B3 on Sat, we went to Loof at Oden towers. I think the last time I saw half of them was 3-4 years back at our yearly gathering. I can't believe that it's been 8 years since we've left school and we are all grown up individuals! It's amazing that we used to be running around screaming and stripping each other, and now we are professionals. How warped is that.
It's different from hanging out with my usual girls. Yes, we all knew each other in school, but I actually grew up with them. The whole ching bang gang - I love dearly and trust. We know every single relationship that we've been in. And when everyone was out with their other half, I was always alone, praying and hoping that Mr Right would come along. I never had a serious relationship before H. The only other one was KC but that was a fiasco nightmare that dragged long and painful.
So my Mr Right has come. I truely honestly believe that H will do everything in his power to make me happy for the rest of our lives. I know he will make a good husband and father, and yet, a part of me is still ... the old self for lack of a better word.
I heard I am playful. I got "long term advice" over the weekend. D'ang!
He said I like getting attention from guys, and I am too playful and young to settle down. Guess that advice would have been more helpful 7 months ago, not now, 7 weeks till the wedding. 7 months ago I really thought I was ready, but now, as the date gets closer and my opportunity cost is impendingly more obvious, I am getting cold feet.
I swear the other day when I broke out in rashes it might have been an anxiety attack.
AHHHH, someone shot me please. Addy, you got to bitch slap me! (You know u wanna!!!)
I hope the rashes don't come back.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
The Best is Yet to Be
2 weeks more to the new job and 10 weeks more to the wedding.
The weekdays are filled with cross-training the new bugger, and the weekends are filled with wedding preparations. Both are not going as smooth as expected, but well, who wants to lead a perfectly planned life right?!
I'm so busy cross-training the new people that I hardly have time to read up on my new job. Being in the Front Office has been something that I've always wanted. The glitzy lifestyle is a definite attraction. I've always looked longingly at Dr Tan's Porsche and all the trophy girls at his side. The constant late night parties are just an escape from the reality. Money doesn't equate to happiness, though you can buy a few hours of company.
What's the attraction then? I want to be able to say that I made it, I want to show DB that I'm FO material, that I can be recognised for talent and hard work. Not those that slept their way to the top, but someone to has paid their dues, who has earned the right to say "kiss my ass" in the loudest, most arrogant tone.
I have made it. I now have bragging rights.
And in the midst of the whirlwind, my partner has been silently supporting me, understandably giving in, and loving me with all his soul. In 10 weeks, I will be a Mrs. Increased responsibility and commitment. On top of being a filah daughter, I am a wife and a daughter-in-law. My new family, new responsibilities... a new journey for life.
The next 3 months are going to be a roller coaster, and it's something that I've been waiting and preparing for all my life.
Bring it on.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
It's been a long time coming
It's been so long since my last post... just don't have the energy or time to sit down and collate my thoughts. Few updates on work:
1. Work sucks, what's new?! The boss is actually getter nicer, in my opinion, but maybe it's just me getting less sensitive about the comments that she says.
2. The job search is not going so well, but hopefully, things will get better after this project goes live. The faster, the better!
Had a blast last night partying at Zouk. It was Flava's 5th anniversary so the DJ spun at Zouk, but the music was so ad! Aiyar! But it was the first time that I had a flaming EVER, so thanks to Teresa for the drink! That was a bitter pill but hey, if Zoe can swallow, so can I.
Everyone was there last night! And it was really fun! Hung was there to protect me, but I was really having alot of fun! I even got a chance to dance on the podium! Beat that. Well, Jess was the first up, and then all hell broke loose. I acutally saw a few guys taking videos/pictures of us sluttly strutting our thang! What a rush... I'm an exhibitionist!
Spent the night at Hung's and a hangover morning at my facial. This morning hangover was bad man... haven't drank in a looonnngggg time! And then I went shopping, I so love living on Orchard Road! Got a red bling pair of high heels which I can't wait to wear, though Hung seems to think it's Pretty Woman (hooker style). Woohoo!
Waking up to someone you love... it was bliss man. Can't wait to start our lives together!!!
It's been a long time coming
It's been so long since my last post... just don't have the energy or time to sit down and collate my thoughts. Few updates on work:
1. Work sucks, what's new?! The boss is actually getter nicer, in my opinion, but maybe it's just me getting less sensitive about the comments that she says.
2. The job search is not going so well, but hopefully, things will get better after this project goes live. The faster, the better!
Had a blast last night partying at Zouk. It was Flava's 5th anniversary so the DJ spun at Zouk, but the music was so ad! Aiyar! But it was the first time that I had a flaming EVER, so thanks to Teresa for the drink! That was a bitter pill but hey, if Zoe can swallow, so can I.
Everyone was there last night! And it was really fun! Hung was there to protect me, but I was really having alot of fun! I even got a chance to dance on the podium! Beat that. Well, Jess was the first up, and then all hell broke loose. I acutally saw a few guys taking videos/pictures of us sluttly strutting our thang! What a rush... I'm an exhibitionist!
Spent the night at Hung's and a hangover morning at my facial. This morning hangover was bad man... haven't drank in a looonnngggg time! And then I went shopping, I so love living on Orchard Road! Got a red bling pair of high heels which I can't wait to wear, though Hung seems to think it's Pretty Woman (hooker style). Woohoo!
Waking up to someone you love... it was bliss man. Can't wait to start our lives together!!!
Saturday, January 27, 2007
The past 23 years
Just heard the song "Graduation" from Vitamine C on the radio. And I was brought back to my prom night in July'99 in the ballroom of Shangri La when I had my prom night when I was 16.
7 years on, I'm a finance professional running the rat race. And in 7 months, I'm a girl about to exchange singlehood for married blis.
How time has flown by.
If I knew my life was going to turn out this way at 16, would I had lived my life differently? Would I have made the choices I did back then?
Anyway, the date is set, 4th Aug at the InterContinental Hotel Singapore. We are happy that everything is finally falling into place. In a span of a month, we've finalised the house, the wedding venue and the bridal shop. Now all we both got to do is to turn up! We're almost there!
Of course I have fantatic friends who have enthusiastically voluneered their services. Thank You! I need all the help I can get, so I can delegate all the work out for me to enjoy my big day! =)
Oh, bonus is declared on Monday. This is going to determine if I'm going to be wearing Prada/Gucci or Giordano for the rest of the year! *cross fingers*
