Saturday, January 22, 2005
what has happened?
where have i gone wrong?
what have i done to make u leave me?
as i sat in the crowd today and yesterday, i didn't feel a thing. He was there, but i cldn't see him, i cldn't even feel his prescene.
i've lost my faith.
even after i cried buckets... crying out for Him to show me his face, to hear His voice... nothing.
zlitch.
i made a decision then.
i decided to leave. it wasn't easy... it was turning my back on all my friends that i've made over the years being there. it was leaving the relationships that i've tried so hard to build up and even harder to maintain.
it was a hard choice.
but as crazy as it sounds, i felt much lighter. i really really felt better. much lighter, like a load's been taken off my shoulders. i really felt much better.
crazy right.
so much for deliverance from acceptance. i had peace from rejection.
this new found freedom is weird... i feel... i don't know...
let me sleep on it then i'll see....
