Saturday, January 15, 2005
where do i stand? where do i belong?
i go on with my daily life without a purpose. seriously. it seems like i've got no direction, no aim. what's the pt of going clubbing every friday? what's the pt of meeting friends to drink and drink and just talk cock.
is there more to life then this?
i'm starting to feel really xian. xian of life, xian of the things that i used to consider important in my life. what is important?
as i grapple with what i am going to do in the coming months, i also tackle the fundamental question... why am i here? what's my purpose?
it's no pt if i go out with bern and ramesh and the rest to chiong every week. bern told me today that i shld hang out with people my own age... sigh... playful rejection perhaphs?
but i don't have any friends my age that i can hang out with... don't count all those that are away studying... i don't have any other swinging single girlfriends that i can count on...to call out when ever and to do watever...
big sigh.
i was telling rui that i can so imagine attending everyone's wedding while i'll always be the one helping out in the backgroud... always the bridesmaid, never the bride... sigh... why isn't there a person out there for me? are my standards really that high?
it's prob the time of the month where i feel sorry for myself and wallow in self pity and blah blah blah... it's either that or the "i'm-so-fat" or the really bad pms when i wanna kill everyone in a 1km radius.
sigh... where's my prince charming? where oh where?
