Sunday, June 13, 2004
just came back from church. had to do duty onh sat and sun this week... it's alright. david's parents gave me a lift home. nice guys man.
read leo's bk in the office cos i was so bored. it was SEX and God's opinion. woah. it's a really easy bk to read, finished it in like an hour or so. well... that was insightful. i read of pple that have fallen to tempatation and all, and i think that it'll never happen to me. but how can i be so sure?
yes, there are times when i was tempted. and i didn't run away. i kept telling myself that i cld control myself and i wld come out stronger. why put urself in a situation when there might be a probability that u might fall? it doesn't make sense. why play with fire.
yes, i have virgin ears. that's wat the office pple call me, just cos i'm the youngest on the floor. haha... it's pretty funny sometimes, but is tolerating their jokes make me seem like i'm putting myself in an environment that is viced-ful?
sometimes i do wonder whether i'm ready. i mean... i have been in comprimisign situations and have blurred lines with my own eraser. i make my own rules, bending them as and when i wish. i'm like the pigs from animal farm. oh ha ha. why make rules when i'm going to bend them? they will break sooner or later. or why live by rules predetermined by someone else?
but i can't. i live by God's rules. i have a whole bk to live by. WWJD... well, for one thing, i'm sure i won't find any reference to zouk or centro anywhere in the bible. sigh. sometimes i just wanna have fun, but i'll end up feeling guilty in the end. sigh. WHY?
maybe that's y none of the relationships have worked out. and why i was never happy. i never enjoyed things as much as i should have, and i've not done as much as i wanted to. but i cldn't. there was this guilt feeling in me. sigh.
at least i feel guilty? haha... here i go with my pocket eraser and go making all my rules.
