step by step

i deleted him from my msn list today.

i just realised that i was going crazy when i kept checking whether he was online, whether he changed his nick, or just whether i shld msg him first.

then i got to the point when it was just psychotic.

i didn't realise the hold he still has over me, or maybe i was just denying it all this time. well, i guess i'm taking the first step to get over my denial and admitting it now. well, that's a start, no??

what was the straw that broke the camel's back?

it was a mightly big one. i mean, i cld be dreaming, but i heard his voice. i was taking a nap, and as usual, thinking abt kc, when He screamed at me. woah. that was scary. i mean, i could be dreaming, but i rather play it safe.

it was Him, there was no mistaking the low, resounding, all powerful voice that He had.

and it's amazing, cos i've never ever heard Him before. this time, it was loud and clear, and let's just say He wasn't happy.

so yes, this is my first step to getting over kc. i'm trying to not let him have a hold over my life, even if he doesn't do or say anything.

either that or i'm just going crazy.

tania @ 2:03 AM | |